Tuesday’s Daily Mail ran with some intriguing facts and myths about the brain - not the big issues, such as why their readers have such difficulty with the concept of people from Africa and Eastern Europe or the residents of council estates - but “fun” facts, such as “Exercise helps keep your brain fit.” Were this true, Premier League footballers would be amongst the nation’s most mentally agile, yet any post-match interview culled at random from the thousands performed each season would demonstrate that this is patently not so. However, as the season reaches its dramatic climax - one chair, two arses, music stops Sunday - mental toughness has become the key theme of pre-game chatter. Chelsea have “the momentum”, whereas United have to go and play in a potato field at Wigan. John Terry says Chelsea have “a steely determination”, whereas the Guardian believes Alex Ferguson will be “frowning”. The fact that at this late stage Chelsea are still pressed up against United like a sex-pest commuter must be driving the reds mad with irritation.
Using this logic and a shed load of statistics, the boys at chickendinner believe Chelsea will crush Bolton, and take the league title too. Disagree? Then back United here, smart arse.
The statistics
* Manchester United haven’t won any of their last four away games in all competitions.
Football fan exposes C-Ron conspiracy, his own social ineptness
No one doubts that Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player of the season, but that hasn’t stopped a certain YouTuber from trying to discredit him. User ‘Unknowngenius3′ has analysed a recent Sky Sports trailer and discovered that the over-hyped commentary was actually taken from games that C-Ron wasn’t involved in. Unknowngenius3 also discovered that he has way too much spare time and has never had a girlfriend.
Visit a North London pub at any time during the week, and you’ll see two grown men ferociously bloodying one another’s noses, bellowing profanities about Tottenham and Arsenal. The debate as to which is better will rage until the end of time. Except in the Jonathan Woodgate house.
Hope everyone enjoyed the summer - those were two pretty hot days. But don’t wrap up and sit patiently for Christmas just yet, there’s still some movement on the transfer market. Here’s the latest…
Steven Gerrard to Inter Milan
If Crouch is worth £15 million, Benitez probably has Gerrard at around £9 zillion. Inter might need to go back with their £25 million and come back with something a little more realistic, huh Rafa?
Aliaksandr Hleb to Barcelona
Spagetti-legged Hleb is so keen to get away from Arsenal that he’s apparently ready to fork out millions to get out of his contract. All the talk has been of Inter, until today when someone from Barcelona coughed and everyone got suspicious. Spill the beans, Hleb.
Former Miss Spain could be on her way to West London
If you believe this photo, Chelsea’s £50m summer transfer target Sergio Ramos likes to wear Hulk Hogan-esque bandanas with surf shorts that are just low enough to expose his ‘pubic tattoo’. In certain circles, he may be labelled a ‘douchebag’ for presenting himself in public in this manner, but at least he offsets his troubling look by keeping former Miss Spain Elisabeth Reyes as company.
Which club’s champagne reserves will be utilised this weekend?
Over the past year, we’ve seen sacked managers, prison sentences and more Cristiano Ronlado sex partners than anyone thought conceivable, and it all reaches a conclusion on Sunday. It’s the first time since 1968 that the top two teams have been on the same points, and one of Chelsea or Manchester Utd will be lifting the silverware (although the Blues will have to make do with a shabby replica) at around 5pm. So who ya got? Vote now…
And while you’re at it, which two teams do you think will go down? The Spoiler believes Fulham will pull off a miraculous escape, but do you agree? Votes and comments below, please.
To bet on the title race click here and to bet on the relegation battle click here.
Enterprising Latics selling tickets at 1,000% mark-up
Wigan chairman Dave Whelan has done all that he can to make sure United have a super comfy stay in Greater Manchester this Sunday. Firstly, he cancelled a mid-week rugby game to make sure the surface was all lovely and smooth. Then, instead of sounding a war cry to his title-hungry opponents, he has told Sky Sports he would be ‘delighted’ to see Steve Bruce take over from Alex Ferguson this summer, should he retire.
Fergie and Whelan already have a solid relationship - the United gaffer was the guest of honour when the JJB opened in 1999, and according to various made up sources, the chairman sometimes lets the red-faced Scotsman tickle his belly like a cat.
Now, the Wigan supporters are doing their bit to bring Alex Ferguson his tenth title. According to The Guardian, Manchester Utd’s 4,928 allocation sold out last month, but Wigan expect as many as 20,000 extra Red Devils to be locked
Current Citeh manager said to be holding out for the Blues
It appears that Sven Goran Eriksson is just a few days away from another gigantic dismissal pay-off (£5m to be exact) and he has already held talks with Benfica. However, today’s Guardian reports that he stands a very good chance of taking Avram Grant’s job this summer, and it sounds like a credible scenario - Sven discussed a move to to Chelsea while he was still England manager, and his passion for money ought to deter him from taking a pay cut in Portugal.
So who do you think would do a better job at the Bridge next season - the Toad or the Swede? Votes and comments below, please.
With the conclusion of the Premier League, the Turkish Grand Prix and the mighty Ebbsfleet’s visit to Wembley, there’s never been more temptation to stay inside on what will be a scorching weekend. Throughout today, we’ll be providing the news, opinions and statistics of all the action, and you can make it a little more interesting by having a punt right here.
FRIDAY
Indian Premier League
Rajasthan Royals/ Deccan Chargers (Setanta Sports 1, 3.30pm)
League One Play-off Semi-final First Leg
Southend Utd/ Doncaster Rovers (Sky Sports 1, 7.45pm)
SATURDAY
Turkish Grand Prix
Qualifying (ITV1, 12pm)
Championship Play-off Semi-final 1st Leg
Crystal Palace/ Bristol City (Sky Sports 1, 12.15pm)
Scottish Premier League
Rangers/ Dundee Utd (Setanta Sports 1, 12.30pm)
FA Trophy Final
Ebbsfleet Utd/ Torquay Utd (Sky Sports 1, 2.30pm)
