Man United to win the battle of the Christmas parties
Rio is making sure his team will be Big Pimpin’ and knee-deep in hos
If you thought seeing an underperforming Ukrainian wearing a sexy rollneck to a party was exciting, wait until you hear the plans for Manchster Utd’s festive shin dig!
According to our good friends at Kickette, The Reds will be kicking into seasonal gear at around lunchtime on Monday, beginning the bender at Manchester’s Living Room bar. Then, Casino 325 will be graced by Rooney et al, before the night is seen out in the classiest way possible, at a skin bar called Boutique.
None of this seems out of the ordinary, until the rules set by event organisor Rio Ferdinand come under scrutiny. Firstly, all WAGs and the gaffer have been banned. He has made sure each player contributes a pithy £4,000, and has banned all mobile phones (presumably to stop a Chelsea-style steamrollering sesh being caught on video and sold to the News of the World).
The pinnacle of Rio’s masterplan, however, comes in his decision to hire a ‘hottie selector’. His place on the payroll is earnt by furnishing the party with a suitable level of floozies and Page 3 types, and to make sure that Ronaldo doesn’t take them all home.
Are you the hottie selector? Let us know with a comment.