Newcastle flop in bedroom farce
Randy player finds out he’s a bit rubbish via text message
A good friend of The Spoiler has told us a sexy tale concerning a Premier League star, whose identity shall remain entirely anonymous:
“Last year, my mate’s sister – a buxom blonde – pulled our hero on a night out in Newcastle (where he was playing at the time), and he came back to her place. Once there, he made his amorous intentions a little too clear, and my mate’s sister decided to go and sleep in another room.
So the footballer, who may or may not be named Titus, ended up sleeping in her bed, on his own. He had training the next day and he didn’t want to over-sleep, but he didn’t have his phone with him to set an alarm, so she lent him hers.
During the night, my mate texted his sister to say something like “What are you doing with [Newcastle player, who now plays at Wigan]? He’s a national joke!” But by the morning the text message had mysteriously disappeared…
Bramble He was picked up by a chauffeur the next day, and driven straight to training. She never heard from him again.”
Have you burst a footballer’s bubble with a rogue SMS? Let us know with a comment below.