No. 17: Jessica Simpson
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was adored by the people of Texas: aside from being a dreamboat, he holds team records for completions, passing yards and plenty of other esoteric-sounding terms that don’t mean much to the humble English chap. But last November, he decided to make Texan singer/actress/moron Jessica Simpson his WAG. And it all went downhill from there…
Ms. Simpson turned up at a Philadelphia Eagles game wearing a pink jersey with her man’s number on it, and the entire stadium was so dumbstruck by the adorable gesture that the Cowboys managed to lose the game, and Romo played a stinker.
Then, in the week before a critical playoff game with the New York Giants, she whisked the star quarterback away to Mexico for a nice little holiday. When the Giants unexpectedly went through to this Sunday’s Super Bowl, the people of Texas turned against Miss Simpson and cleverly dubbed her ‘Yoko Romo‘.
If you can see past her uncanny ability to control the destiny of an NFL side, you may be interested to know that in Jessica’s twenty-seven years, she has made six albums (including a Christmas Album called ‘Rejoyce’) and four films, only two of which made it to cinema screens. She was a virgin until she married boyband hunk Nick Lachey, and after divorcing him in 2005, has since squeezed in sojourns with Adam Levine (whiny Maroon 5 singer), Dane Cook (grinning chimp comedian) and John Mayer (crooning pop guitarist).
Spoiler bonus: Here’s Jessica’s cover of the Robbie Williams classic ‘Angels’. Watch out for the 1.43 mark, when she starts doing topless keep-ups. (You’ll never know see it though, as no self-respecting man will click the video after reading that first sentence)