The next stage in the Newcastle drama – relegation!
City of Newcastle – what exactly have you done to offend the gods? The collapse of Northern Rock, dramatic storms, the arrival of feral cockney Dennis Wise to help undermine the football team, and now the government clamping down on automatic health care for the super-obese. Your Tyneside lifestyle really seems to have got someone’s goat. Then just this morning, chaos for commuters as a hotel burns down and guests are paraded into the rain and 70mph gales in their jimjams. How much more, O Lord, how much more? Well, possibly quite a lot more, actually. A study of the heavens reveals that even relegation is indicated, assuming there’s anything left of the north east by May to relegate, that is. It couldn’t happen, could it?
For the reasons why it could, click here
24 responses so far
Paul Fairley // February 1, 2008 at 1:43 pm
You’s lot write some shit, quite unbelievable. You must be taking too many drugs!!
DJ // February 1, 2008 at 1:44 pm
No
This website sucks // February 1, 2008 at 1:47 pm
This ‘news’ is quite pathetic.
Dog // February 1, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Why don’t you put your name to this shite? Just so we know who you are
sukusoffAmAtoffeApple // February 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm
WTF are these people on, Relegation are you for FKN Real.
These are the people Newcastle could do without writing shit about our club.
Go and write about you fantastic Southern teams you judist twats.
AND GET OFF NEWCASTLE’S BACK.
Dom // February 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm
How much glue did you have for breakfast today? What everybody seems to forget is that our last two games have been against Arsenal who aren’t exactly slouches….. Try and do your job properly by adding a bit of perspective instead of spouting off the first sensationalist words that trip off your tongue.
gm // February 1, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Stupid cocknet w***ker you talk total sh*t but i suppose that is to be expected you are a thick southern arse who proclaimes to be a journalist.
Hope you die a long and painful death, or come up here and I’ll make it a quick one, tosser
Craig // February 1, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Pauls pretty much bang on, what a load of bollocks. What have we done to offend the gods? do fires not happen in other parts of the country? i didnt realise super obese people were exclusive to Newcastle thus being victimised by the gods in the shape of the governments plan. Those portly southern people on Jamie Olivers show must have just been big boned
Neil // February 1, 2008 at 1:55 pm
” and now the government clamping down on automatic health care for the super-obese”. If you stated this about another country it would be racist. Do you not think its a little stupid to go on about stereotypes. Who writes this garbage. I’ve a mind to report you to Ofcom. P.S In the last Survey I saw Liverpool was number 1 for obesity in the UK so do some research. But I suppose its easier to lie.
thesniffer // February 1, 2008 at 1:56 pm
“What everybody seems to forget is that our last two games have been against Arsenal who aren’t exactly slouches….. ”
Did you read the article Dom… “Newcastle and Reading currently have the joint worst form in the league, having scraped nine points each in their last twelve games. Sunderland and Middlesbrough, who sit below Newcastle in the league, are currently ninth and tenth in the form guide respectively.”
That’s last 12 games – relegation form
malcolmmacdonald // February 1, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Sensationalist? Even Given has admitted he thinks the Magpies could go down
http://www.newcastleutd-mad.co.uk/news/loadnews.asp?cid=TMNW&id=375409
sukusoffAmAtoffeApple // February 1, 2008 at 2:05 pm
If Given stops these fkn theatrical dives and and actually stops these great fkn 25 -30 yard goals that we concede almost every week that would be great help.
How many times has he been beaten by long range shots so far.
DaveyVonB // February 1, 2008 at 2:06 pm
the stats are merely suggesting it’s quite possible Newcastle will go down based on ther current form. Which is true.
And Neil you could go to Ofcom but I’m fairly sure a governing body who deal exclusively with tv and radio will be slightly confused by your complaint
The Earl of Sunderland // February 1, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Judist? Cocknet? You lot have always been hard to understand, but you’ve really lost me this time.
lonewolf // February 1, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I support both Newcastle and Liverpool, and even I think we’re in trouble, soooooo do the “math”
gm // February 1, 2008 at 2:19 pm
try this then “earl of sunderland” FUCK OFF YOU MACKUM CUNT stick to watching the shite you lot of unwashed wankers play. cock
tony // February 1, 2008 at 2:19 pm
cant you southern drama queens lay of newcastle it is just a pointless article and hyperthetical, king kev will have a golden war chest in the summer while you southern morons will have spent up
The Earl of Sunderland // February 1, 2008 at 2:28 pm
It’s Mackem, dear. Mackem.
thesniffer // February 1, 2008 at 2:30 pm
That’s Dennis Wise will have a ‘golden war chest’ … along with your parachute payment
Dom // February 1, 2008 at 2:30 pm
“Did you read the article Dom… ”
The Sniffer – Of course I read the article; we are all aware of our poor ‘relegation form’ this season – that’s why Allardyce was sacked! Keegan however can only be judged on his 3 games in charge, two of which were against Arsenal (one of which wasn’t even in the league) and sometimes you need to dig a bit bigger than merely relying on statistics. Regardless of which, the rest of the article is absolute first class bollox!
cus // February 1, 2008 at 3:00 pm
ha ha horrible cockney cu*t. you takin the piss out of our lifestyle at least there’s no gun crime up here someone gets shot every fucking day down south u scruffy inbred bastards
faustino // February 1, 2008 at 3:17 pm
As has been pointed out on another site….alot of this so called journalism would be construde as racism if directed at someone of a different ethnic background. Anyway laugh it up England and particulary Sunderland it’s only a matter of time before we can laugh our balls off at you.
tony // February 2, 2008 at 7:59 pm
here here
Update: Reasons why Newcastle are heading for the Championship | The Spoiler // January 12, 2012 at 11:51 am
[...] February 1st, The Spoiler audaciously suggested Newcastle would be involved in a relegation battle. Despite statistical evidence, some of the more [...]
Leave a comment