Fat Martin Jol

Martin Jol: Too fat for Ferguson

Fat Martin Jol

The big news sloshing around the enormous snazzy Spoiler offices this Friday morning is that back in the days before Carlos Queiroz became the coach at Manchester United, Ferguson and his honchos were interested in getting Martin Jol on board. He ticked all the right boxes, and was this close to getting the job, until Ferguson decided that he was just too bloody fat!

The Scot was adamant that his players wouldn’t be able to take a fat man seriously, and that he would ultimately become a bad influence. The last thing the United boss wanted was his lithe and gifted dressing room ruined by the lure of ketchup, that cheese that comes in single portions for burgers, and delicious barbecued chicken. Mmmm, Nandos.

Hence he didn’t get the job.

22 responses so far
  • Stuart // February 15, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    But the United players don’t mind a red nosed scottish whiskey head giving them instructions?

  • andy // February 15, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    I think you will find that the reason he didnt want Jol was because he was to honest. How can employe a coach that doesnt encourage divers, didnt think surronding the refferee for decsions they didnt like “isnt cricket” and actually is happy to speak to the TV cameras even if you loose.

  • Dan // February 15, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    That’s the big news? The news that was revealed some years ago before he was even on these shores? Let me ask you a quick question, do you have anything to do that might pass the time to fill the void that is your life, without rooting around news stories from years gone by? Pathetic

  • ben // February 15, 2008 at 12:57 pm


    Why bother with such inane, dull, boring, irrelevant nonsense.

    Utter drivel.

  • KS // February 15, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    I was going to say something then Dan said it better. Go read his comment again instead.

  • Yid // February 15, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Just wasted 30 seconds of my life, what a Cunt!

  • Ray // February 15, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    No Stuart, the players do not mind a proven winner giving them instructions. SAF’s CV speaks for itself. I dare you to find me another manager with his credentials. I dare you to find me another manager who is as succesful as SAF. If you’re a spurs fan I suggest you watch out for Robbie Keane surrounding the ref and assistant ref for decisions he does not like as he does it with every decision.

  • Essex // February 15, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    C’mon Ray, get a life.

  • Josh Burt // February 15, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Hello people, yes I had heard about Jol applying for a job at United, but I wasn’t aware that he didn’t get the job because he was a bit of a podge. Was it widely reported that he was turned down for being fat?

  • roy // February 15, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    Well, Ray has done it. Congratulations on topping the most stupid and infantile articlle I have read. Tell me Ray, when the article is exadurating how fat Jol is do you manage to top it by telling us Robbie Keane SURROUNDS the referee and his assistant? That’s some big man. Top man for idiocy -well done again. Still half term is nearly over. Mouth and gear spring to mind.

  • andy // February 15, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    dear dickhead ray – i think you will fnd the Keane being the captain of the team is the only person n the team thats allowed to approach the ref. hes the captain? how many times has tottenhman been fined for surrounding the ref.?
    How can a player of ronaldos quality still want to cheat?

  • andy // February 15, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    ps ref – please go on a photoshop course your attempt at cutting pasting and blending is frankly below primary school abilty.

  • chileyid // February 15, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    man utd fans shouldn’t have the right to comment on other teams players harrassing a ref, they might do it sometimes but utd players think that every decision should go their way. Van der Sar just made himself look like a twat against spurs.

  • yido // February 15, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    load of shit, we love martin!! always welcome down the lane!

  • el // February 15, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    That’s it fellas, recycle three or four year old news stories whydontchya. It wasn’t believable back when it was tabloided and it’s no more believable now you’ve web’d it. Any chance of you lot taking your website a bit more seriously?

  • Bronno // February 15, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    This is embarassingly old news from years ago.

  • the truth // February 15, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    I actually watched an interview with sfa, and he said he wanted jol , but jol turned him down. So before you post stupid articles get your fact right

  • Tottinghams // February 15, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    Wow, this article is infantile and retarded.

  • J // February 15, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    More Breaking News: World War 2 is over!!!
    Margaret Thatcher is the first female Prime minister!!!
    Hand of God cheats Shilton in World Cup.
    What a web page this is…….

  • Repo Man // February 16, 2008 at 5:31 am

    Get your facts right you fool . Alex has a red , fat and saggy face . So whats the diffenrence . Jol looks better .

  • patrice // February 16, 2008 at 8:31 am

    this story is old. – but true. newer news is that Ramos couldn’t believe the crap the Spurs team were eating at training ground. Cream cakes were on the trolley. How simple managing a team is: tell the fat kids like Huddlestone to stop eating crisps and cakes, buy a defence and voila! fifth or sixth or seventh place guaranteed.

  • RedbyDawn // February 28, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    Shit, they could all run round looking like Posh Spice and it wouldn’t matter. Always gonna be also-rans, dirty Spurs!

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