(non) WAG of the Day

(Non) WAG No. 32: Monica Harris

Back off Defoe, this lass doesn’t go for footballers

There’s nothing quite like mortally offending a Playboy model to get your day going, as I discovered when cruising the MySpace page of Monica Harris. Last week she filed a blog entry entitled ‘My statement to dick head journalist Ryan Bailey‘. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right – an attractive girl who takes her clothes off for a living knows my name, baby! And to think the teachers at school said I’d never amount to anything…

The vitriolic statement came in response to me labelling her a ‘WAG wannabe’ in this article. Turns she doesn’t enjoy the WAG lifestyle, and she doesn’t believe Jermain Defoe holds a clean bill of sexual health:

I’m not being funny but I’d rather poke my eyes out with a blunt object than go near a footballer who, lets face it, probably has every STD under the sun.

Monica was present on the evening that Defoe and Ledley King celebrated their Carling Cup victory, but she was actually hosting the Chinawhite event, and not taking part in the Spurs boys’ steamrollering activities. In my never-ending quest to blame somebody else for everything, J’accuse the picture agency who sold me a picture with the caption ‘Defoe and WAG Monica Harris’. The filthy liars.

The 23-year-old model and I have since kissed and made up, and when I asked about the stigma behind the ‘WAG’ label, she didn’t mince her words:

A lot of models go to these sort of clubs trying to get themselves a footballer or Calum Best, they think its an easy way into the lime light and into getting more work, when in actual fact, most people look at them as no more than prostitutes.

Being a WAG to me means being with a footballer as a job and that’s pretty much it, with the exception of Cheryl Tweedy and Coleen, who both earn their own money and have a career in their own right. But what do the others do?

When she’s not picking up on inadequate journalistic research or lambasting Danielle Lloyd and her ilk, Monica enjoys listening to her favourite hair metal recording artists, who include Def Leppard, Poison and Billy Idol. Unfortunately, Miss Harris’ tastes mean we could never be together – I’m much more of a Whitesnake/ Twisted Sister man.

Spoiler bonus: Here‘s Monica’s official site and below is some rather splendid NSFW video documentation of her typical working routine.


9 responses so far
  • Monica Harris // February 19, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    haha thanks for making sure everyone knows my ambition is to NEVER be a WAG lol x

  • Blue G // February 19, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    I’d be a WAG, but without the fake tan, slutty dress sense, lack of social morals and ease of into-bed-iness.

    And also I wouldn’t date a footballer.

    Actually, as I’m a man I couldn’t be a wife or a girlfriend. Guess there’s not many opportunities to be a HOB (husband or boyfriend).

    Oh, and I’m a journalist, thanks for besmirching our name Ryan. Yeah, THANKS.

  • Arfon Edwards // February 19, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    good man, props and respect for standing corrected and also for creating a decent spotlight feature for Monica. :D

  • TwistedNerve // February 20, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    well done that man, Monica is a good girl and Alan Shearer has retired now so there is nobody she thinks worthy of her!!

    see u on your site Mon.. Mal x

  • roshann // February 26, 2008 at 10:22 am

    ring me 07733207510

  • monica harris // March 1, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    haha ring you? Who are you?

  • roshann // March 1, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Ashley Cole

  • Monica Harris // March 6, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    lool I’d like to give him a ring…..round the neck

  • Joana // May 6, 2010 at 7:40 am

    stream sex

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