Hard luck Chelsea, no Kaka for you. Not now, not ever.
As recently as Wednesday, newspapers (and websites) were reporting that following Chelsea’s inquest into how they ended up with losers’ medals on Sunday, Roman Abramovich concluded that they needed to buy themselves some Kaka.
Unfortunately for them, the only Kaka worth buying has just committed himself to Milan for another five years. Young “Richy”, already the world’s most generously salaried player, has no doubt pushed his earnings even closer to where his best friend Jesus lives by signing a new contract this week.
If Chelsea think they might get a shot at him at some point after June 30, 2013, then they should think again, because Milan don’t have any plans to set him free even then. “This is the contract of his life,” smirked Milan functionary Adriano Galliani. “And I hope to be able to give him another one in 2013, but this is the incontrovertible proof that Kaka will be spending his entire career with us, to the delight of our fans.”
Those who are familiar with Italians and their love of speaking in secret code will have realised that this last remark also means “Bugger off and buy someone else, Chelsea.”
There has been no word yet from West London on how this development affects Chelsea’s grandiose plans to be the biggest club in the world.
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