Tittle Tattle

Transfer Talk: Is Eto’o FLIRTING with Tottenham?

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Ahh, Saint George’s Day – the one day of the year when you can go into the office with your tatts out and blood on your knuckles and no one even bats an eyelid. Because if they do, that’s fighting talk, their eyelid is taking the mick, thinking it’s better than you. Stupid eyelid, coming over here in it’s boat, sneaking past customs, taking our women…

Makes you proud to be English.

The Saint George’s transfer talk reads a little something like this:

Steve Sidwell to Aston Villa
Aston Villa goes to bed every single night and dreams of becoming a Top Four/Five club – and word has it that to make such a transition you need to sell your best player to Liverpool, and bring in Chelsea’s… wait for it… STEEEEEEVE Siiiiiiidwelllllll – hang on, that can’t be right…

Samuel Eto’o to Tottenham
Eto’o said, verbatum: “If next year we continue the same without winning titles here, I will have to go to another place because what I want is to win.” Spurs bloggers heard: “I very much adore Juande Ramos and would love to come to Tottenham Hotspur to defend the Carling Cup.” Unlikely, surely?

John Arne Riise to Newcastle
Apparently his cameo last night did enough to finally convince King Kev that he has what it takes to make it at Newcastle.

Carlo Cudicini to Juventus
That’s it, Cudicini has had enough of playing second fiddle to Petr Cech, it’s ridiculous! Hence he’s off to whistle in line behind Gianluigi Buffon instead. At least they know how to cook a good pizza there. Or something.

Rafael Benitez to Valencia
The Sun believes that Benitez is done with this Champions League lark and would much rather a Spanish relegation battle. At least they do half-decent tapas there.

Freddie Ljungberg to Fiorentina
The kindly people of Fiorentina are apparently willing to pay £4 million for Freddie – presumably that’s £1 million for football, and £3 million for his priceless style tips?


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