Ronaldo's Women

Ronaldo’s Loveliest Girlfriends (featuring Nereida Gallardo, Gemma Atkinson…)

The Portuguese man-o-sex’s top five conquests

For those who didn’t know, Cristiano Ronaldo (full name Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro) was named after the evil American politician/actor Ronald Reagan, which, as people to be named after goes, is only a few back from calling your child Adolf, Judas or Jack the Ripper.

All of that aside, Ronaldo’s had a great couple of days – voted footballer of the year, wore a leather jacket – so to celebrate, we thought we’d have a dreamy look back on some of the more beautiful women he’s had sex with since he moved to Manchester. For probably legal/financial reasons, we haven’t included the many prostitutes.

Merche Romero

Merche (possibly pronounced “mirsh”) played the part of a Mrs Robinson character in Ronaldo’s life, being practically an old biddy at 31-years-old. A TV presenter in Portugal, when word got out that she’d been snogging Ronaldo, scores of angry young fans started threatening to kill her. They soon split up.

Gemma Atkinson

If you don’t happen to own a television, you might never have seen Gemma – she was the man-voiced female star of Hollyoaks, who went on to become the totally mute glamour model wandering silently around the I’m A Celebrity jungle. She was once proudly Ronaldo’s female resting place.

Karina Ferro

Very little is known about Karina here, except that she’s a lucky Portuguese model who once had the pleasure of standing in front of her family and friends and declaring herself Cristiano’s woman. Shortly before he left her.

Mia Judaken

Only a few short weeks ago, it seemed that the dazzling lover/winger might have calmed down and settled into the kind arms of family friend, Mia – a girl who would happily flit between her It Girl lifestyle in Bel Air, and the leather sheets of Ronaldo’s impressive boudoir. But before everyone knew it, he’d jacked her in.

Nereida Gallardo

And to his current lover – the curvaceous model/human Nereida. When she’s not on beaches modeling her bosoms, the 25-year-old does normal things like eating, laughing, and sometimes talking. The pair are rumoured to bloody love each other a lot.


11 responses so far
  • uncle cyril // April 28, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Why don’t you shut the f*ck up about Gemma…always downing her…it makes you sound pathetic…Have you got a problem with such a beautiful girl..?..How beautiful is your girlfriend..?…I bet you’re a dog and yo GF is some kinda bookend…Think about it…Yours faithfully…uncle cyril…x

  • Bill Ballsack // April 28, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Reagan was a God! Why don’t you show some of Ronnie the diver’s boyfriends as well?

  • peyfuss // April 28, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    How exactly is Ronald Reagan evil?

  • Chris Hanson // April 29, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Ronaldo went out with Will Young for a year

  • Ronaldo Cristiano // April 29, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    I hear talk that Chris Hanson takes it up the jacksy from Will Young, but thats just a rumour.

  • Will Young // April 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Hi, Will Young here, I love sticking my cheesey knob up Chris Hansons jacksy,

    Chris, you know you love it up ya.

  • Bumper // May 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Ronaldo once had an affair with a Portuguese guy. You can check out some of the Portuguese newspapers or you’ll even find some info on that on the net. It was quite a long time back though before he got real famous.

  • Puff // May 13, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    He must have a good time diving into them pussies. I’d hit them all.

  • henry // March 6, 2009 at 2:10 am

    karina ferro, the hottest one..i remember he (ronaldo) talking about her…in the 1º interview at manchester channel… but i didn’t think that she was so beautiful…

  • ase // March 13, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    it is fantastic.

  • farhan // August 26, 2009 at 3:05 am

    i like you ronaldo

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