Man United’s BIG FOUR 2009: Rooney, Tevez, Ronaldo, ASHTON??
Brilliant, it’s a bank holiday! Which, of course, means an extra night of drinking, fighting and lurching home head-first muttering swear words under your breath. Another day of waking up in a hedge wondering why your shins ache, another day of mooching around the town centre blissfully unaware that someone graffitied “twat” on your forehead in pen while you were stoned. Have fun, everyone! But before you get your first pint in, why not peruse today’s transfer rumours… give yourself something to talk about.
Dean Ashton to Manchester United
Ashton has only just dislodged Carlton Cole as the first-choice striker at West Ham, and even then his own fans aren’t entirely convinced that it was a good idea. Something tells us that Rooney and Tevez won’t be stomping into Ferguson’s office tearfully demanding answers when they get wind of this one.
Kasey Keller to Bayern Munich
Now that Oliver Kahn is well into his 60s, it might be time to hand the batton over to a younger gent – like, say, 57-year-old Kasey Keller. Nice idea, Germans.
James Beattie to Hull City
Beattie said no to Middlesbrough, but he still wants to play football. That can only mean one thing: a one way ticket to the gorgeous Kingdom of Hull.
Mark Milligan to Arsenal
For those who don’t know (ie. everyone) Mark is an Australian midfielder who has been jumping up and down in front of Arsene Wenger for some time now begging him to let him play for Arsenal – pleeeaaassse! And now that Flamini looks set to skulk off, apparently Wenger muttered something along the lines of “okay”.
Pavel Nedved to Everton
Nedved (pronounced Ned-veeeyyyed) was formerly named the best player in Europe and revered worldwide. Much like Phil Neville, his future pal. Apparently.
Leave a comment