Spoiler

Marseille fans attempt to buy Dider Drogba!

Today’s rumours, gossip and damned lies

Fans of the French club who sold Drogba to Chelsea in the first place are so desperate to bring him back that they are trying to raise £22 million to buy him. The church-hall style fundraising thermometer has been put on the wall, but so far made just 5,000 euros (about £4,000) has been collected. Only another £21,996,000 to go, mon frères…

The Frank Lampard saga latest
The ultra-reliable Daily Star claim Lampard has once again refused to sign the four-year deal being offered by Chelsea, while Jose Mourinho has cheekily called Lamps the best professional he has worked with.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Jose is intent on charming Lampard to Milan

Andrei Arshavin latest
The Russian forward has been spotted moping around Zenit muttering about having two great games at Euro 2008. If he’d been as poor in those games as he was against Spain, a club might actually be able to afford him now.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Nobody wants to pay £20 million plus on someone unproven

Lucas Neill to Galatasaray
The kindly Turkish club are offering West Ham the chance to trim down their wage bill by shipping captain Lucas Neill over to join international teammate Harry Kewell. They will even pay the £4 million postage and package fee.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: West Ham will be reluctant to sell with Pantsil going and Spector injured

• Chelsea
• Dider Drogba
• Frank Lampard
• Galatasaray
• Harry Kewell
• Jose Mourinho
• Lucas Neill
• Marseille