Spurs’ fabulous new training techniques revealed!
Aww, look at them, they just couldn’t hair less…
If you took twenty monkeys and twenty grown men and forced them to mingle in shop window, statistics suggest that passers-by would be able to correctly identify about twelve of the men, but some would be so hairy that they might as well be monkeys. It sounds strange, but those are the facts. Unless, of course, those men happen to play for Tottenham Hotspur, in which case, no problem, they’re all completely hairless. How the hell did that happen?
Has Ramos demanded that all his players have smooth chests and legs next season? Is this some kind of European technique that no one knows about?
By the looks of things, the players have been subjected to a rigorous summer training programme, including: beach frolicking, diving into waves, waxing, bumping chests, cocktails, and disco dancing.
Be afraid, other Premier League teams. Be very afraid.
More terrifying pictures after the jump…
42 responses so far
CarloSpur // July 15, 2008 at 9:32 am
Im only leaving a comment to say what a complete waste of time your blog is…
Dont quit your day job…..unless you are a journalist… then you might want to think about a new career!!
Its obvious that the pictures are of a team building exercise and not the actual training. If you go to the offical Spurs website you can see the pictures of the real training sessions.
Numpty.
Frazzler // July 15, 2008 at 9:32 am
Can’t beat a bit of manly bonding can you? Raaaarrrrgh!
Alan // July 15, 2008 at 9:33 am
i reckon if you asked a monkey to write this article he would have done some research 1st and realised that this was after the 4 days of intensive training in Spain. I think they call these sort of activities team bonding. Awww poor lil Gooner!
Swithin Monteiro // July 15, 2008 at 9:41 am
Let’s hope we see an equally delightful spleash in the Premier League from the frolickers.
Yid666 // July 15, 2008 at 9:46 am
Well what do you expect from a lame ass gooner! The have no idea what team spirit means! Bunch of no good sons of b….!!!
devon yid // July 15, 2008 at 9:49 am
good spot Mr spoiler, very amusing….i have to say i hadn’t noticed, so inspired was i by the jollity and cameraderie of my beloved spurs… quite why you take such a close interest in the bodies of grown men though leaves us with more questions than answers!
devon yid // July 15, 2008 at 9:52 am
woah guys, relax seriously, surely this was just a light hearted comment? It certainly made me smile and does raise the question of why no body hair????
Max Power // July 15, 2008 at 9:58 am
You Spurs fans are so sensitive! If you saw the Arsenal team frolicking around in such a gay way you’d find it hilarious.
redMist // July 15, 2008 at 9:58 am
Calm down Spurs boys. Feeling a little anxious already are we? Jumpy? Tense? So fearful of mid-table mediocrity again that you cant take a little joke. Dont worry the season wil start soon adn you will have something real to moan about
supersuperspurs // July 15, 2008 at 9:59 am
well its obvious isnt it………………..body hair is for nine foot tall russian shotputters with 15 inch underarm hair…………..im sure ive just described alexander hlebs wife………………hehe
Darren Watts // July 15, 2008 at 10:00 am
As a journalist you need to do some proper research… must be an arsehole scum!
spiderspurs // July 15, 2008 at 10:37 am
i’m with devonyid, just a bit of harmless banter. lets be honest the pictures of the lads do look like highlights from a gay cruise. nice to see keano up there enjoying himself, benty too, hope theyre both staying, noo sign of berbs though, maybe he draws the line semi-naked homo-eroticism disguised as team building excercises.
COYS
Robbo56 // July 15, 2008 at 10:43 am
Does anyone know where the Spanish training camp is. i live near Marbella and i am sure it is here somewhere, have they got anymore friendlies lined up with local Spanish teams?
Spurs est 1882* // July 15, 2008 at 10:50 am
I think this is a funny article, and lets not get so shirty. It is odd they are all hairless, but I would not be shocked to see most of the PL players as being hairless, they are all a bunch of posers.
As for the frolicking, has anyone else tried running in water? let alone waves while carrying a mate. I would not be surprised if they were more tired after this that the 4 day regime.
dan // July 15, 2008 at 11:17 am
Come on fellas, im a life long sprurs fan and there is a lot worse on the internet about us then this story.
Far play to the writer, it did tickle me a bit, but not sure about the monkey jibes!!!!
….and for the above comment great to see keano and bent enjoying it!!
Spurs est 1882* // July 15, 2008 at 11:32 am
Dan, I am not sure they are “Monkey Jibes” in a any racist manor. I think he is more talking guys looking more like Ryan Giggs. Hairy chests, arms, legs and every where there is skin. Like a Monkey.
spuds... // July 15, 2008 at 11:40 am
hahahhahahahaha
dan // July 15, 2008 at 11:43 am
i was talking about them being spurs players actually.
Brooklyn Hotspur // July 15, 2008 at 12:25 pm
As always this blog is aimed at knocking Spurs because it’s written by an Ar5ena1 fan.
Hopefully he’ll post the pictures of Wenger’s training camp at the local kiddies playground.
……..that’s if the players aren’t at Barcelona or AC Milan’s training grounds!
Marco // July 15, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Knock Knock….Arsenal fan……who?
Wozza Spur // July 15, 2008 at 3:35 pm
At least we now know who the next Spurs signing will be…..
Ars-shavin, obviously…..!
(I’ll get me coat)
reno // July 15, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I’m a spurs fan but can see the funny side of this. Genius observation, I also heard that evening training consisted of very rough mud wrestling and a milk drinking competition!!!
Peter // July 15, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Hi all I`m a spurs fan and seriously those pics are hilarious i couldn`t stop laughing at how gay they look. Look how short their shorts are i mean c`mon if you canny laugh at that get a life basically.
Nice Crack !!! // July 15, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Luvv it Wozza… Nice Crack…. Arse Shavin…!!! No…?
( I’ll be out in a minute)
Nice Crack !!! // July 15, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Come on dudes they are all ripped to shreds.. bale looks awesome… mmm..
mark // July 15, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Mr Malbranque is a very hair frenchman.
White Hart Dane // July 15, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Hilarious… these pictures are well funny. Great to see som fun and games amidst some intense training, but these pictures are going to go down as the gay’est moment in the history of my beloved spurs. Do I care…? Not one bit…. Must credit the author for his keen eye for the details….
davspurs // July 15, 2008 at 7:58 pm
SPURS ARE NO I ALLREADY IN THE GAY PIN UP PARADE MABY WE NEED TO WARE PINK SHIRTS. I AM NOT A SHIRT LIFTER BUT IF I WAS TOM HUDDS LOOKS LIKE TARZAN. BE AFRAID DEFENDERS BE VERY AFRAID .HAHAHAHA
A Wenger // July 15, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I for one am saving these pictures to my special folder on my hard drive! mmmmmmm!
LA YID // July 15, 2008 at 9:35 pm
you’ve all seen the film 300, so tell me how many spartans had hairy chests?
Sofia // July 15, 2008 at 11:12 pm
boo..Why can’t there be any pictures of liverpool player like this?
RedbyDawn // July 16, 2008 at 2:28 am
They’re all on Juande’s growth hormones. Expect Dwyane Chambers foreheads on Jenas in the forseeable.
Kickette // July 16, 2008 at 5:01 am
It is amazing that people still assume that this site is anything but glourious humour. Some of you “I’m posting because you are a shit jurno” boys need to realise that it is a joke…a J-O-K-E. To make you SMILE…..’course, being a spurs fan often means one season of happiness and 40 of absolute obscurity. So not many things can make you smile. Hey, if your lucky you may sign that arrogant muppet Bentley. What a fine addition he would make to the 4 day “Intensive” training…..
Hairy Spurs man // July 16, 2008 at 5:09 am
This is true what Kickette says. It is also true that we suffer alot. What is suprising is just how hairless our boys are becoming…I wonder if El’Bosso has waxed/shaved/BSCed the hair from his own less ripped physique?
JOHN // July 16, 2008 at 6:29 am
A BUS COMES DOWN THE HIGH STREET STOPS AT A BUS STOP PICKS UP 2 PASSENGERS AND LETS OFF 5 , MOVES TO THE NEXT STOP LETS ON 3 AND DROPS OFF 1 , GO`S TO THE NEXT STOP LIFTS 5 DROPS OFF 2 , GO`S TO NEXT STOP LETS OFF 11 TAKES ON BOARD 2 , ONTO THE NEXT STOP LIFTS 4 DROPS OFF 1 , GO`S TO THE NEXT STOP LIFTS 19 DROPS OFF 14 , HOW MANY STOPS DID IT STOP AT .
Entire Forum // July 16, 2008 at 6:49 am
the author’s refernece to Monkeys is clearly a racist comment and the article should be removed.
Amanda Huggandkiss // July 16, 2008 at 7:38 am
Racist? It’s a reference to their hairlessness, you moron.
Martin J // July 16, 2008 at 10:30 am
I wonder how many of gooner fans have done this kind of training. Fitness training on a beach is tough, running in sand is tough, especially in the sea jumping waves and and the added physical strain of carrying team mates through waves is excellent stamina and endurance training. I once saw a South African rugby team do this similiar type of training on the beach whil on holiday inDurban, oh arent they the Rugby World champions who ended All blacks 5 year winning home run last week. old fashioned fitness training is the best kind it doesnt isolate smaller muscle groups that newer techniques do. Although the pics are funny.
Mike // July 16, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Why are you looking at pictures of men without shirts on and commenting on body hair?
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