The Big Debate

Is Liverpool the NICEST club in the Premier League?

Just a question, not a declaration of war…


Alright, football fans, put the grenades down, and throw your machetes into a nearby hedge. The Spoiler knows the drill by now, your claws are out, and we can only apologise for the headline – we didn’t do it just to stir you into a frenzy of mouth frothing and blue language. We are not Liverpool fans (for the most part), we’re just looking at the facts. Perhaps once you’ve sobered up enough, you might find time to study them with us?

Firstly, Liverpool are the only Big Four team that no one ever wants to leave. Chelsea are struggling to keep Lampsie and Drog-drog interested, Hleb and Flamini couldn’t wait to scarper from North London, and even up in Manchester – supposedly home to the best team in Europe – Cristiano Ronaldo is champing at the bit to get away, and start afresh on a new set of local prostitutes. Probably Spanish ones.

Yet, over in the Merseyside city of Liverpool, no one can bear the thought of not coming home to Rafa Benitez’s warm womanly bosom, regardless of the fact that the city is about as far away from being a genuine European Capital of Culture as you can get (where next? Norwich?). Even Crouchie – a man with sophisticated tastes for things like oysters and Abbey Clancy – seemed reluctant to go south.

More importantly, big players from teams not far behind Liverpool in the league are begging for a chance to prove themselves at Anfield. Both Aston Villa’s Gareth Barry and Tottenham’s Robbie Keane have been totally synonymous with their clubs for absolutely ages, but would happily infuriate their fans should Rafa somehow raise the funds and do one of his trademark finger clicks (or is that The Fonze?).

And lest we all forget, a “bigger” club (Chelsea) has already clumsily lurched in for Torres and Gerrard and been told in no uncertain terms to back off. Gerrard famously couldn’t bring himself to go, even with the promise of more money than he could fit in a hippo’s mouth, fifteen yachts, four brides, and a fabulous personal shopper. No one wants to leave.

Of course, snarling supporters from places like Leeds or Newcastle will forever argue that their clubs are brimming with fiercely loyal players, and they provide the best atmosphere you could ever imagine, much better than Liverpool’s. To which we will smile politely, silently cough names like Alan Smith, or (dare we say it), Peter Beardsley, then run away. Fast.

So what do you think, readers? Is Liverpool the most appealing club in the world to play for? Or, um, not?

36 responses so far
  • Cool Hand Fluke // July 16, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    I’d give my left nut to play for them. FACT!

  • ST. Chris // July 16, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    I agree, although Liverpool has been embroiled in some embarrassing public spats of late, no thanks to Bitter O’Neil and the two Yanks.

    But Benitez has been careful in his buying, he’s done everything he can to not bring players in with ego, and that is one of his biggest philosophies.

    Even poor Xabi, who was almost being carried out of the door by Benitez wants to stay and prove himself.

    Liverpool only buy professionals, not show offs and play boys.

    Gracias Senor Rafa.

  • Robbie // July 16, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Liverrpool would most certainly be the most appealing club to work for…..if only her ownership matched her PRESTIGE!!!!

  • Artful Dodger // July 16, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    I’ve got one testicle. Its a big one. Sits smack bang in the middle. And i’d give it all up to play for them. FACT!

  • dan // July 16, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    i suposse it is, and I give both my nuts to play for them FACT!

  • Dubrogue // July 16, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    Best fans, best stadium, best record and a new stadium to come with Rafa at the helm for many a year. Get rid of the three twats at the top (Parry included) and we will be unstoppable. YNWA

  • Spiv // July 16, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    This article is perhaps far more accuarate than a number of fans will want to admit. There is something special about Liverpool FC where the other ‘BIG 3′ teams are unable to compete………Liverpool FC (for the most part) is a local club with local fans. Most supporters who attend matches every other week at Anfield are predominantly Scousers & live in and around the Liverpool/Merseyside area. This ‘local community’ aspect has an emotional impact on the Liverpool players in a way that cannot be said of players at Arsenal, Chelsea & ManU. Sorry to say, but it’s true!

  • Ehjaz // July 16, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    Definately one of the Greatest Clubs in the world!Would be even more popular today if they enjoyed the same success as they did in 70′s and 80′s.

  • Tinker // July 16, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Check liverpools history to see how ‘nice’ they are. loved around Europe, especially Italy and Turkey, one visit to Anfield, the place and the ground, show you how ‘nice’ they really are.
    “8 Livepool city of Cu…”

  • JAY // July 16, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    You are obviously only writing this to invite a negative response, but have found yourself with the opposite. I doubt very much you live in Liverpool or in fact spent much time there! As you would have no need to ask this question. I invite you to spent time in Liverpool and time with the people around you, Everton fans aswell then you would see what an ambassador of culture Liverpool is and why people are not in a rush to leave. Those who have left under achieved or been unhappy by moving elsewhere.

  • Alexander Ferguson // July 16, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    I too would give both my nuts to manage the club, It was always my ambition to manage the biggest club, but sadly I settled for 2nd Best.

    When I say i’d give both my nuts…I would, but unfortunately Cristiano keeps them in his handbag for me.

  • SpitFire // July 16, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Not, and nvr will.

  • Josh Burt // July 16, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Hi Jay, just so you know, I’m from Liverpool.

  • Sidney // July 16, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Rafa benitez is a ******

    Gerrard was close as you could be for signing for Chelsea. He only stayed because you crack head scousers sent him death threats.

    Give us our 18 million then we can all get on.


  • bgudg // July 16, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    I would give both legs to play for liverpool.

  • IBBY // July 16, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    liverpool are undoubtably the best club to play for to support or even to live in as a city. i think they must have got this nice attitude and charisma from bob paisley.

  • istanbul05 // July 16, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    You alawys get one….sidney you are a jealeous twat. I’m sick of all these mid-table envious 2 bob fans commenting on liverpool.
    Get real your team is s***, you will never play champions league football and your best player is leaving…fact! Don’t blame us if your team can’t match your captains ambitions….

  • Nozzy // July 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Haha. I agree that we seem the only club able to hang on to our best players. I’m a Liverpool fan mind, but no we’re not the ‘nicest’ club. You cant afford to be nice at the top. I’d say the nicest is someone like Portsmouth or someone like that, maybe Wigan or Blackburn.

    Oh and as for Stevie wanting to leave. That was a ill-advised move from himself to try and get a pay-rise, which he did get. There werent any death threats apart from being from a bouncer who was Stevies wifes ex, and this was a reason he considered LEAVING because he felt his life was in danger. No threats from Liverpool fans, and only one idiot burning his shirt.

  • Bokolis // July 16, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    From this yank’s perspective- 25 years a Liverpool supporter, from when we couldn’t even pay to watch matches- Anfield, nestled into the neighborhood as it is, must be the Wrigley Field of England.

    Sadly, Liverpool’s domestic futility rivals that of the Cubs. It doesn’t help that the two cowboys at the top are 1) someone dumb enough to buy the Texas Rangers from Dubya and 2) someone who has nothing to show for owning the most famous and historically successful ice hockey team.

    On another note, how long until you lads uncover the news that Poof-naldo lets broads strap it on him?

  • villastar // July 16, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Interesting the number of pool fans who seem to think Martin O’Neill is ‘bitter’, and that he is responsible for the bad feeling around their manager’s attempts to unsettle his closest potential opposition.

    Fact is pool do not have the money to buy either Barry or Keane. If they did they would have bought one or both by now.

    Benitez has a distinctly warped idea of how to value players. Carson is £10 Mill to Villa, but £3 Mill to Stoke! What is that about?

    No doubt in my mind that Benitez used The Sun to break the interest in Barry. He then started blabbing to the press about Keane. In neither case did the club which owned the player make any announcements, Benitez just sees it as an opportunity to disrupt teams he thinks will be challengers for Liverpool’s annual race to finish fourth! The bloke is devious. Would you trust a bloke with a dodgy beard like that?

  • RitthicP // July 16, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    Absolutely agree with writer. I’m one who support this team since i know football and will through the rest. I’m Thai and had a very good chance to see the match at Anfield last season. That’s unforgetable experience! Everyone who support Liverpool is eager to see Anfield at least once in thier life. I think like Spiv (upper comment), no other team can compare

  • ST. Chris // July 16, 2008 at 5:29 pm


    Get a grip lad, you know the S*n wasn’t used. O’Neil is definitely bitter, and a hypocrite.

    Don’t forget that it was only a couple of days ago he broke the news about Arsenals interest…..this wreaks of doubel standards.

    He’s the only person who provides up to date commentaries on his transfer dealings. What a clown. Also, his bitterness comes from his failed application to get the Liverpool job instead of Benitez.

    Hard lines Martin, better look next time.

  • Martin // July 16, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    Liverpool is like the Roman Empire – and the British Empire (and other Empires for that matter) in that it takes a few hundred years or so before people realise that all the glory is in the past. Yesterday. Sadly, most Liverpool fans are still living in the past while they occupy fourth place in the League Table – along with their £350m of debt. Yes, with good management at the top they could be great again. But that’s a big ‘If’ at the moment. The club is run by jokers.

  • VILLAFAN // July 16, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    I’m Villa through and through But I have a lot of respect for Liverpool and the club’s achievements, especially in Europe. The club does have great fans- just look at the number who travel across Europe and when they come to Villa Park they are usually in good voice. They are great passionate fans. It is clear, however, that at the moment the club has real problems – the owners, a lack of money, failure to challenge ManU and Chelski and anxiety that they might not be able to hold onto a 4th spot in the PL. The Barry affair has been badly handled , primarily in my view, by Liverpool and the current management but that shoud not take anything away from Liverpool as a club.

  • The Chief // July 16, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    It does seem amazing how many ex-Liverpool players seem to have fond memories of their time at the Club and regard it as the high point of their careers even during periods when the Club was quite unsuccessful. I doubt that the patrician values associated with the club can survive under the present owners

  • Jonathan Price // July 16, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Josemi. Nunez. It was the highlight of their careers.

  • aristeia // July 16, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Liverpool is the home I’ve been trying to get to half of my life. And I’ve never even been there. So, what does that tell you?

  • Kerry // July 17, 2008 at 5:01 am

    haha..Whats with this “bigger” club in chelsea???…bitterness, utter hilarity. Liverpool are a big club, chelsea have never been or never will be a big club and totally relying on a sugar daddy to buy trophies does not constitute big…over 100 years winning nothing, having a small fanbase, no history, no identity, empty seats every week…thats chelsea.

    As regards players not wanting to leave Liverpool…its the prestige of playing for Britains most successful club, of having the worlds most famous club anthem YNWA, having the worlds most famous stand the KOP..and had Liverpool got the cash they could buy any player in the world unlike chelsea who routinely get snubbed as players wanna play for a real big club and not a medium sized sugar daddys toy. look at the list of players who have openly stated they want Liverpool such as David Silva and Daniel Alves…but, due to our massively under-achieving finances we cant get them. Almost 20 years since our last league title we are still one of the biggest pulls in world football..and the 3rd most successful football club on the planet…its pure envy.

  • Gooner89 // July 17, 2008 at 6:45 am

    It is definitley LFCs rich tradition and with this comes alot of people who grew up on this. i.e. players like robbie keane who supported LFC as a boy. Fair play to you, i would be lying if i said i didnt want the same love/loyalty at the Arsenal.
    As for Rafa being devious with transfers etc, show us a manager who dosent!
    I cant believe i have just written so much positive about LFC! Looking forward to another exciting season.

  • Yido // July 17, 2008 at 9:11 am

    Benitez is not a nice man. He has proved it time and time again that he is a cunt! We all remember when he was going on about how “defoe was desperate to leave spurs” unsettleing players, now he is trying the same with Keane, no contact with the club but then wants to talk about it with the media. Tit. And the whole barry saga is bullshit, he rates Peter Crouch and Alonso well over what they are worth then tries to pay penuts for Villas captin. Nicest my arse, its because they are not a threat for winning the title people put up with them or everyone would hate them like they hate Arsenal, United and Chelsea.

  • Dave // July 17, 2008 at 9:29 am

    bgudg giving both of your legs…….Now I see how Vorinin got to play for them

  • albeeee // July 17, 2008 at 10:04 am

    so is being nice prerequisite to a league title cos that is not happening

  • Dusty // July 17, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    [Comment removed by administrator]

  • owen // July 17, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    i agree with this article wholeheartedly. no club is perfect, however liverpool are still the peoples club even though they had to sell out to the yanks.
    the club is special, anfield is a temple in world football and this infuriates other teams in the prem.
    ask henry about the best place to play football, ask maradona who were the best club fans he’s seen in champs league
    the fans at ‘pool are better towards their players than other clubs

  • emz // July 17, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    no way. Gerrard put in a transfer request to join Chelsea a few years back. Torres has only been there a year so obviously isnt going to want to leave.
    Alonso wants out.

    Also the players dont really like Rafa, particularly Gerrard. And rumours come out of the club all the time that alot of the players dont like Gerrard.

  • RedbyDawn // July 21, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    Proper football fans understand the Liverpool way. Then you get the odd glory hunting beaut on here who probably never watched a game before Sky come in and corrupted it.

    It’s a shame a lot of todays fan aren’t as genuine and knowledgable as the likes of VILLAFAN and Gooner89 on here.

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