Transfer Talk

Tubby Braziilan puts a huge dent in Manchester City’s pride

This morning’s rumours, gossip and damned lies


In a crushing blow for fans of overweight Brazilians, it is being reported on the AC Milan website that a deal has been agreed to bring Ronaldinho to the San Siro this coming season. Just to rub it in, it’s thought that Milan aren’t even offering Barca as much cash, and Ronny’s agent brother claimed he had negotiated a £25m deal with Citeh just yesterday. Still, it could all be a blessing in disguise – the podgy one, pictured above with AC Milan bigwig Adriano Galliani, would have undoubtedly capsized the trawler on the way to the Faroe Islands tomorrow…

Valon Behrami to West Ham
The right-back known as the “Swiss David Beckham” has invoked another weird contract clause that will allow West Ham to sign him for £1.5 million rather than the £11 million Lazio have demanded. It casts doubts over the future of captain Lucas Neill, who may ruin the party for City fans happy they avoided Ronaldinho.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter:
If the Daily Mail are actually printing something positive about West Ham, it must be true

Anton Ferdinand rejects Newcastle
Newcastle’s madcap scheme of basing their transfer recruiters in London hasn’t helped them bring in any defenders this summer. First, Richard Dunne decided he’d rather win his thousandth player of the season award at Man City and now Soulja Boy Ferdinand has decided that not even the Newcastle nightlife is enough to make playing with Joey Barton sound tempting.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter:
West Ham seem happy to lose Anton but he doesn’t want to go

Tal Ben-Haim to Man City
Slimeball Peter Kenyon is still laughing after flogging flop Steve Sidwell for £5 million but things are about to get even better for the Blues as another Bosman reject, Tal Ben-Haim, has attracted a £5 million offer from Man City.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter:
Just about believable, but will Pizarro follow suit and complete the £5million Bosman set?

Dave Kitson to Stoke

The Potters are ready to break their transfer record by offering £4.5 million for Kitson, who hopes to enjoy another season of not giving two sh*ts about the FA Cup, instead concentrating on a relegation battle that they will end up losing.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter:
May want to hold out for a bigger club

And in darts news…

The Sun have broken the biggest story of the summer, revealing that Luiz Felipe Scolari has already climbed his way up to third in Chelsea’s darts league, with just John Terry and Joe Cole left to catch.

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