Welcome back to Civvy Street, Joey Barton
Oooh, look who’s back…
Fingers crossed, after 74 days languishing in a depressing prison cell, Joey Barton might stop and think before he decides to slam his bloodied fists into innocent people’s faces again. Today, he can breathe his first taste of fear-free air, having surely spent the last two months dodging hooligans, and teaching himself philosophy.
In the spirit of forgiveness, The Spoiler has compiled a list of things that Barton won’t know about because he was too busy eating stodgy mashed potato, walking in circles, and doing whatever else it is that people do in prison…
1. Big Brother 9 started, and Dale – who’s from Liverpool too – thought it totally fine to tell the whole nation that he was going to “nail” some “fanny” if at all possible.
2. Nadal won Wimbledon. Seriously.
3. Wayne Rooney put his frantic bachelor days behind him, and finally made an honest man of Coleen.
4. Summer came and went.
5. Nereida Gallardo, who was probably all the talk in chokey, got them out.
6. No one missed you.
8. But he’s an idiot.