Welcome back to Civvy Street, Joey Barton

Oooh, look who’s back…


Fingers crossed, after 74 days languishing in a depressing prison cell, Joey Barton might stop and think before he decides to slam his bloodied fists into innocent people’s faces again. Today, he can breathe his first taste of fear-free air, having surely spent the last two months dodging hooligans, and teaching himself philosophy.

In the spirit of forgiveness, The Spoiler has compiled a list of things that Barton won’t know about because he was too busy eating stodgy mashed potato, walking in circles, and doing whatever else it is that people do in prison…

1. Big Brother 9 started, and Dale – who’s from Liverpool too – thought it totally fine to tell the whole nation that he was going to “nail” some “fanny” if at all possible.

2. Nadal won Wimbledon. Seriously.

3. Wayne Rooney put his frantic bachelor days behind him, and finally made an honest man of Coleen.

4. Summer came and went.

5. Nereida Gallardo, who was probably all the talk in chokey, got them out.

6. No one missed you.

7. Except Kevin Keegan.

8. But he’s an idiot.

5 responses so far
  • Davies // July 28, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    Good job you’re better than everybody else, otherwise you’d never get away with “writing” an “article” like this. Oh, wait….

  • Frank // July 28, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    I see you’re so brave you can’t even put a name on your so called “article”, frightened Joey might be after your pretty little body then?

  • ian king // July 28, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    simple question would a manager in the premiership have been welcomed back with open arms, i dont think so do you, afer ll anybody else in any other walk of life would have got the sack surely.

  • DERKM // July 28, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    tony adams, gazza, bestie, merson tell us something new about sport having principles

  • honest abe // July 28, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    Davis, Frank, the simple solution to you not thinking the article is upto scratch is for you to both FUCK OFF!
    ps Bartons a thug, a chav, and the brother of a racist murderer. surely he deserves ANOTHER chance?

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