The Future

Robin van Persie feels brilliant, David Moyes feels rubbish

Tomorrow’s headlines today…


It’s official, we’re now living in a world where big tough guys like Brad Pitt are allowed to call their children Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, and English cricket will be globally represented by a young South African gentleman with shiny diamonds in his ears. The future feels weird. Here’s what you’ll be talking about tomorrow… whilst wearing futuristic jump suits with a guy called Zog.

Van Persie loves you

Robin van Persie isn’t used to having so much free time, what without having a painful injury to recover from, so he has filled the void by sharing his positive outlook with the world. When he gets injured, he turns it to his advantage: “I learned a lot in the last two years because I have been injured so much. I learned what my body can take and what it can’t, so it was an interesting period for me.”

And get this, he’s even really positive about his new positive outlook: “I just do not want to think about that negative stuff. If you think positive, you get positive.”

Is he on drugs?

Moyes is getting livid
Everton boss David Moyes has admitted that the club’s lack of progress in the transfer market isn’t anything to do with being satisfied with the players at his disposal, but is, indeed, a crisis.

“My big concern is that anybody we bring in now probably won’t be ready to start the Premier League season – it’s not just a new face we need, it’s new faces.”

1 response so far
  • Donjohnni // August 4, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    I’ve seen Van Persie’s willie, it’s about five inches long … FLACCID !!!

Leave a comment
  1. View comments in RSS feed