Five football courtcases waiting to happen

A can of worms has been opened, folks

Carlos Tevez, Javier Mascherano and Alan Pardew
Photo: PA

Sheffield United’s successful tribunal ruling against West Ham could cost the Hammers £30m in compensation, and it also sets a dangerous precedent for results on the pitch being overruled by men in suits. The Spoiler decided to examine other potential footballing matters that could end up being settled by lawyers:

1) Watford miss out on the play-offs by a point

The Football League have decided there will be no replay of Saturday’s Watford/Reading match, despite the fact that the Royal’s opener was clearly not a goal. If Watford end up finishing just outside the play-off places, or if Reading wind up just inside them – does that give Watford the right to sue the Football League, the referee and the linesman?

2) Germany claim the 1966 World Cup

Sheffield United were able to win their case relying predominantly on ‘what ifs’, rather than solid facts. Imagine how successful a Germany appeal could be when they have digitally-enhanced evidence that Geoff Hurst’s second goal didn’t cross the line – another example of West Ham cheating!

3) England gain passage to the 1986 World Cup semi-finals

Maybe England could compensate for losing that World Cup by sueing Argentina for Diego Maradona’s Hand of God in 1986. This would lead to Argentina being kicked out for unsporting behaviour and and England facing Belgium in a restaged World Cup semi-final. Of course both countries would be forced to wear retro kits and only field players from their 1986 squads.

4) Ade Akinbiyi sues The Sun

Akinbiyi could claim that Premier League clubs were put off signing him, not because he was rubbish but because they were worried about receiving negative press after The Sun labelled him “The League’s Worst Striker” while at Leicester. This meant he spent the following years at Crystal Palace, Stoke City, Sheffield United and Burnley rather than achieving his Top Four potential. As well as shelling out £50 million in damages The Sun would be forced to refer to Akinbiyi as “The Football League’s Best Striker” to compensate for past criticism.

5) Derby demand £30 million compensation for their relegation

If Sheffield United can sue for being one the three worst teams in the Premier League, why can’t Derby do the same? The Derby board could tamper with Paul Jewell’s managerial contract and leak to the media that he was actually signed from a Kia Joorabchian-run third party. The Rams would then be in a position to demand compensation for the 67 points they dropped in Paul Jewell’s 24 Premier League games in charge.

Have your club got a reason to sue someone? Has the Tevez saga set a precedent for football results being overturned off the field? Let us know your thoughts with a comment below.

9 responses so far
  • Englands number 6 // September 23, 2008 at 10:48 am

    My lawyers have been advised to serve papers on your website for printing such utter rubbish and making light of a Northern monkey MCcabe trying to get money out of a club that finished above them.
    Did shrff utd not beat whu when Tevez was playing?
    we want them 3 points back

  • Upminster Iron // September 23, 2008 at 10:59 am

    FA have just announced that there is no right to appeal – how ridiculous. Even if you take away the fact Sheffield United were crap and blew a 10/11 point lead over us or the fact Tevez did pretty much nothing for 2/3s of the season, the tribunal quote claims that the two games where Tevez made a difference were the last two games of the season – AFTER the FA cleared him to play. So if anyone should be stumping up, it’s the FA!

  • spandav // September 23, 2008 at 11:03 am

    This is it. Everyone can now start suing for their own shortcomings. It is the Premier League that Sheffield Utd pursue. As a West Ham fan I’m appalled that the club would indulge in illegal activities such as the Tevez affair. They should be punished for their mis-deeds and this duly happened. The Premier League took the view that a fine was sufficient and that no points would be deducted. After the paperwork had been regularised, they were allowed to play Tevez perfectly properly in the eyes of the league and therefore Sheffield Utd had no recourse whatsoever to West Ham. Why West Ham agreed to any tribunal in the first place is a mystery. They are on strong grounds to take this issue through the proper courts and seek and legal outcome. Don’t pay a penny until this action has been taken.

  • MANUTD // September 23, 2008 at 11:27 am

    This case has now been looked at as a business to business case. Not an on the field football case. At the end of the day – had WHAM not signed Tevez they would have been relegated and Sheff United would have stayed up. Becaue Tevez was an illegal entity then United had every right to sue. Its the FA who should be ashamed of themselves. I would expect these FA chiefs to step down now as a result. But i’m sure they won’t.

  • TONY // September 23, 2008 at 12:55 pm


    When are you lot going to but Tevez?

    He is still owned by Kia amd his mates.

    And how do you know West Ham would have been relegated without Tevez, are you related to Mystic Meg.

  • Chris // September 23, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Does this mean Reading can sue West Ham? Sheff U were clearly crap two years ago, so I think it would be safe to say they would have been relegated last year had they stayed up.

  • Bokolis // September 23, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    I thought crap like this only happens in France, where things get settled by some weenie judge instead of on the pitch…San Francisco, too.

    Having taken somewhat of an interest in the Blades…West Ham fcuked up and would have deverved to have been relegated in real time, but it’s too late for that. Besides, with Zola on the sideline, they are in danger of becoming a real team.

    For blowing that lead, the Blades should have went down on general principle. If, as consolation, Sheffield Utd are going to get £30MM, the FA should have to foot the bulk for letting this happen under its flag.

  • BAC // September 23, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    I see Colin Wanker has said he’d still be with Sheffield if they hadn’t have been relegated – hopefully the compensation tribunal will deduct £30 million from the award for the benefit Sheffield gained as a result.

  • Upminster Iron // September 23, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    That’s a good one BAC.

    Who does Warnock think he’s kidding saying Sheffield United would be doing well in the Premier League now if he was still in charge? They were crap – that’s why they went down. Almost as dumb as when he made the point that if they had Tevez then they’d have stayed up!

Leave a comment
  1. View comments in RSS feed