Pete Tong

Terrifying prophecy coming true for Tottenham

Ramos must leave, and fast…

Dan Ackroyd

Some might argue that Juande Ramos is brave and loyal for standing his ground and refusing to leave Spurs. Others may allude to a Christmas spent on the streets, dejectedly wearing a Santa outfit (1:40 into this clip) like Dan Ackroyd in Trading Places. The Spoiler, however, chooses to ignore both of those loud clamouring voices and simply sticks to the facts. We’ve already prophesised a doom-laden end to 2008, and it doesn’t look like improving. As a gentle reminder, here’s why the rest of the matches from now until Santa’s next installment will be seriously disappointing for Spurs fans.

It’s at this point that we’d love to say something about dreaming of a white Christmas. But won’t. Because it would be too mean.

Stoke/Spurs, 19 October 2008

Prophecy of doom: Last season Spurs lost the league matches that followed both the September and October international breaks. They’ve already lost the game that followed the September break this season.

Spurs/Bolton, 25 October 2008

Prophecy of doom: Tottenham have only won two of their last eleven league games against Bolton.

Arsenal/Spurs, 29 October 2008

Prophecy of doom: Spurs are yet to come away from the Emirates with a victory.

Spurs/Liverpool, 1 November 2008

Prophecy of doom: They haven’t beaten Liverpool at home since 2004.

Man City/Spurs, 8 November 2008

Prophecy of doom: Spurs haven’t won in their last four attempts against a Mark Hughes side.

Fulham/Spurs, 15 November 2008

Prophecy of doom: Tottenham haven’t won at Craven Cottage since 2002.

Spurs/Blackburn, 23 November 2008

Prophecy of doom: In their Premier League head-to-heads at White Hart Lane, Blackburn have scored more goals – 17 to Tottenham’s 16.

Spurs/Everton, 29 November 2008

Prophecy of doom: Everton have won on their last two visits to Tottenham, scoring five goals and conceding just one.

West Ham/Spurs, 6 December 2008

Prophecy of doom: Spurs have only won one of their last four away against West Ham.

Spurs/Man United, 13 December 2008

Prophecy of doom: They haven’t beaten Man United since 2001.

Newcastle/Spurs, 20 December 2008

Prophecy of doom: Newcastle have won the last three of this fixture 3-1.


5 responses so far
  • dude // October 6, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    Thats a pile of crap I have ever heard.

  • ParkLane67 // October 6, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    Crap hand-chosen statistics (worse than lies & damned lies). It wouldn’t be difficult to find a stat that counters every one of those, but frankly I can think of better things to do with my time!

  • davspurs // October 6, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    WHATS DURACELL BUNNIES PETER CROUTCH AND THEY ALL HAVE STUFF INSIDE THAT MAKES THEM RUN ALLDAY FIND OUT LIKE HULL AND THE REST HAVE DONE DITCH PROFFESER ESTABAN BABY FOOD HE IS GIVING SPURS SEND HIM TO THE LIVERPOOL PHYSIO AND WE WILL SCORE IN THE LAST COUPLE O MINS AND WIN AND RUN ALLDAY . PROPHECY. BABY FOOD 0 -EPHEDRINE 20 WINS SO FAR AND COUNTING

  • Josh Burt // October 6, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Please do, ParkLane67, I’d be interested to read them.

  • Josh Berk // October 6, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    What a complete waste of time and space. How long did it take you to research this piece? I hope you enjoyed yourself. Rubbernecking loser.

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