Nightmare in N17

Are you a Spurs fan wondering who to blame? Try Juande Ramos (part 1)

Spanish coach doing his absolute best to ensure Spurs win the Championship next season

Juande Ramos

The Spoiler has come into information that suggests Spurs fans are badly in denial when it comes to correctly apportioning responsibility for their unhappy start to the season. (The Spoiler has also been accused on more than one occasion of being anti-Tottenhamist, an accusation that has no basis in truth.) Various phone-ins and message boards have Spurs fans laying the blame squarely at the feet of Damien Comolli, who has indeed failed to dazzle in the transfer market, and Daniel Levy, for his “Take care of the pennies, and the players will take care of themselves” economic philosophy. Coach Juande Ramos has been given a pass for quietly getting on with a difficult job.

However, the news from the Spurs training ground indicates a very different situation, and that instead of trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear, Ramos is one step away from having the players bump into each to the accompaniment of comedy music.
According to our mole: “Juande came back from his (summer) holidays unhappy in London, and now seems hell-bent on doing all he can to induce his own sacking and pay-off.”

“Gus Poyet is not actually the assistant manager anymore, just a translator. The actual assistant manager is a renowned Spanish tennis coach, who has had no involvement before in football. Instead, Poyet spends his time encouraging player revolts in the belief he will be asked to take over as manager by Daniel Levy when they sack Ramos.”

Mole also claims that Ramos’ famous dietary rigor has also developed a lunatic edge, and that instead of modern sports nutrition, the players are now banned from eating for several hours before a match. Two hours before kick off they are then each instructed to eat two toasted sandwiches. This after an incident in September when Ramos announced he’d discovered why the team were struggling – too much Lucozade. The fizzy energy drink has now joined the long list of banned substances at Tottenham. The effects of the ban have yet to be felt.

More unintentional Tottenham comedy later.


8 responses so far
  • loose // October 8, 2008 at 10:15 am

    absolute dross

  • Marco // October 8, 2008 at 10:29 am

    Pathetic attempt at what?, the only ones laughing are Spurs fans at you idiots writing total and utter crud like this árticle´!

  • Lanester // October 8, 2008 at 10:43 am

    I’ve been a season ticket holder at Spurs for 15 years now, and I’m worried about Ramos. Levy and Comolli have botched it up royally, but Ramos has got decent players and can’t seem to get a performance out of them. They played well against Hull but there have been other times this season when they have been pretty much bumping into each other, or at least not knowing who is supposed to be going forward. I bet all clubs have weird things going on behind the scenes with managers banning things like Lucozade because they are all a bit mental, but I think the bloke’s got a point – Ramos is getting an easy ride here. He’s the one supposed to be sorting it out and he doesn’t look like he’s got the stomach for it.

  • Greggs Cat Pasties // October 8, 2008 at 11:05 am

    Once again….. there are 16 million reasons why Ramos wont walk away and every reason for him to encourage the club to terminate his contract.

  • mustard // October 8, 2008 at 11:11 am

    someone is clearly taking the piss out of your “mole”

  • billiospur // October 8, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    so pathetic…….u W……ker

  • greekos // October 8, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    You need to tell your “source” to come up with something that is actually tangible and people are likely to believe. Until this article I actually used to enjoy reading articles on this site. Ill put this down to a one off.

  • Greg // October 8, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    You are seriously disturbed with some bad sources of information. You are clearly unaware of what football is and what nutrition diet means. people like you are to blame for encouraging problems at the club. Yous should be ashamed

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