Alan Shearer displays more punditry genius

Our licence fees continue to pay for this man’s contributions

We at The Spoiler are huge fans of Alan Shearer’s unique brand of punditry – the way he strips away any signs of analysis, insight and useful information is truly masterful. On Sunday’s edition of MOTD2 he produced some gems that will undoubtedly change the way we all look at the beautiful game. Enjoy some choice cuts…

Shearer on Van Persie’s offside goal at Stamford Bridge:

“Scolari has been having a go at the referee, but it’s actually the linesman who makes offside decisions, so he should be having a go at him.”

So it’s the linesman who is in charge of offsides now? Wow, we had no idea. Thanks for clearing that one up, Alan, we had no idea the man whose primary function is to call offside decisions was in charge of offside decisions. Tell us more…

Shearer on Cristiano Ronaldo’s second yellow card:

“In this replay you can clearly see that the referee doesn’t blow the whistle until after Ronaldo commits the foul.”

Granted, C-Ron claimed to handle the ball after hearing a phantom whistle, but was it particularly helpful to analyse a slow motion replay (without any sound) showing us that the referee didn’t blow up for a foul that hadn’t been committed yet?

8 responses so far
  • Ryan // November 30, 2008 at 11:44 pm

    God get a life mate, its only football. i think this is more ridiculous than anything shearers ever said. so do us all a favour… and shut up.
    If you knew anything about football you’d realise yes, it is in fact the linesman who makes offside decisions, when was the last time you saw a ref wave a flag about whilst blowing his whistle?
    And the replay, he was just showing any action the ref was taking, which may have imitated him blowing a whistle, which ronaldo could use as another pathetic excuse. so would you rather watch what was happening yourself, or just view alan sheares’s face, which you evidently would love to do.
    i just hope you read this, think about what an idiot you sound, and consider any article you publish.
    Thank you.

  • Hocus // December 1, 2008 at 12:59 am


  • Robert // December 1, 2008 at 1:08 am

    Do you not know that it’s the linesman who actually awards offside decisions? Jesus Christ, if you don’t know that basic football rule then why on earth are you allowed to right on the blog?

    How in the world can you blame the referee for that decision? I could explain that the referee isn’t looking along the line so can’t award offsides, but I fear my explanations would be wasted on someone who obviously has a low IQ.

    But I suspect the obvious stupidity shown on this post is meant to provoke comments.

    I for one will not be reading this website ever again.

  • Hocus // December 1, 2008 at 8:04 am

    Robert, dont over react, remember that Tevez’s mom vistis post?

  • Reinhold Messner // December 1, 2008 at 9:11 am

    Um, I’m pretty sure he’s aware it’s the linesman who makes offside decisions and it is a sarcastic response to Alan Shearer’s blindingly obvious comment.

    Try to grow a sense of humour, chaps!

  • RayParlourForPresident // December 1, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    ahem, some people on here have taken this just a touch too seriously,

    the article appears to be a dig at Shearer stating the obvious rather than adding any value to the commentary,

    I found it quite amusing and also quite accurate, our Alan isn’t known for his profound analysis of the game and these are good examples as to why.

    to answer Robert’s question, I don’t think he would be writing a blog if he didn’t know about the offside legislation, still, I’d rather you take you anger out on this blog than a passing stranger, sounds like you may need some professional help.

  • Kyle // December 1, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Spot on Ryan.

    Regarding Shearer on the offside: what’s wrong with what he said? He is simply indicating that while the referee bares most responsibility, Scolari must accept that the ref looks to the linesman for confirmation in instances like these. In other words, Shearer was presenting the other side to Scolari’s argument.

    There is nothing wrong with satirizing public figures, if it is done in a clever an humorous way, but you just sound like a moronic sarcy little mug. Give up.

  • Vote: Did Ronaldo deserve to be sent off yesterday? | The Spoiler // January 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    [...] and thought play had stopped. However, the video above records no such high pitched sound, and even Detective Shearer and his ridiculous sound-less slow motion replay on MOTD2 couldn’t reach a conclusion. [...]

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