MR Saturday Night

Ledley King cried and wet himself in prison cell

Spurs captain slays the dragon named Dignity

Ledley King

In the early hours of Sunday morning, professional sportsman Ledley King saw fit to launch an alleged alcohol-fuelled racist attack on a nightclub bouncer. For his troubles, he spent a night in a police cell, where, according to sources, he continued to proclaim his superiority over the rest of humanity through tearful eyes:

The drunk Spurs captain “cried and sobbed” in a police cell after trying in vain to get officers to let him go, it was said.

Two men being dealt with at the same station said the star alternately ranted and pleaded with the cops, bragging that he earned £83,000 a week.

They claimed the England ace – arrested after a nightclub row – shouted at the sergeant: “Boss man, boss man, I don’t deserve to be here – I’m rich.”

“Boss man”? Was Ledley locked up on the Green Mile or something?

One of the witnesses was also keen to stress that the Tottenham star lost control of his bodily functions while in lock-up:

“I’ve never seen anyone in that bad a way with alcohol. His trousers were down almost to his knees and it was obvious he had wet himself.

“I barely got a wink of sleep because he was screaming all night. [You couldn't sleep in a prison cell? That almost sounds like you were being punished - Ed.] When we were all released at lunchtime he looked terrible and stank of urine.”

It’s probably worth pointing out that the sources who witnessed King getting locked up were also being arrested themselves for a street brawl, so they’re not particularly credible.


14 responses so far
  • Criminal Justice Lawyer // May 12, 2009 at 9:11 am

    This is libellous. Has a ‘racist attack’ been proven in court? You suggest in your first sentence that it has. I suggest you take the story down…or at least rewrite it to the point where you are not leaving yourself open to legal action. Sincerely, Matthew

  • Tom // May 12, 2009 at 9:19 am

    Shut your hole Matthew.

  • Doug // May 12, 2009 at 9:45 am

    A vile and detestable story about a vile and detestable incident.

    Both the player and the writer should know better.

  • Butros Butros // May 12, 2009 at 9:49 am

    How the hell can it be libelous? If the article had stated that he was racist then you may have had a point. The fact it didn’t, and cites a third party source, means that it is free from any form of prosecution.

    Why don’t you get back to being a dick Matthew?

  • James147 // May 12, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Oh, what a wonderful story. You’re my hero Ryan, I wish I was like you.

    Do you have children? Hopefully they’ll turn out just like you. What a wonderful world it could be.

    Everybody now… Other people’s misery la la la la la, other people’s misery la la la la la.

    Do you find you only really feel alive when you’re laughing and pointing?

  • jack // May 12, 2009 at 10:59 am

    This article is bull..
    The writer must have problems

  • f1sh // May 12, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    get a life ppl, this is quite hilarious. Spoiler brat blabbering about how rich he is and that he shouldn’t be in prison because of that, if the t**t doesn’t know how to behave himself, then let people see that he is an a$$hole, maybe his crappy club will take action.

  • f1sh // May 12, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    get a life ppl, this is quite hilarious. Spoiled brat blabbering about how rich he is and that he shouldn’t be in prison because of that, if the t**t doesn’t know how to behave himself, then let people see that he is an a$$hole, maybe his crappy club will take action.

  • Mr. Chopper // May 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    Another professional sportsman gets too drunk and makes a tit of himself. He seems to have acted like a pissed up kid, all puffing his chest out and riding a Cheeky Vimto wave. Young men and latent racism, eh? Not acceptable at the best of time, let alone when you’re 28.

    They should teach responsibility, humility and social skills at the academies, just like how most of us learn how to be proper balanced adults at uni… Albeit without the benefit of tens of thousands of pounds a week, nor the watchful eye of the media covering us when we get an £80 on-the-spot fine for pissing up a streetlight during the first week of spunking away three months’ loan.

  • bill // May 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Seriously, have you lot ever been on this website before?? Im just amazed that a few of you (obviously spurs fans) are shocked and offended by this…………… just dont bother reading anything on this website if your gunna cry over every article you dont agree with!

  • doesyourmotherknow // May 12, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    cor. obviously this article is hardly going to win pulitzer prizes but if you want high-class journalism you should be reading the economist, not a football blog. besides, the article itself is actually verybalanced and doesn’t ignite opinion either way, so I don’t see what the fuss is about; it’s just relaying stuff said by other sources.

    seriously, if you think this is ‘vile’ or mocking you should go out and read the sun or the daily mail. and they’ll even make you pay to have your brain cells destroyed.

    less of the pms next time, guys.

  • James147 // May 12, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    King might have acted like a complete basket but doing an article about him wetting himself is hardly the actions of a fair minded, well intentioned author.

    The article appears slightly more balanced than it did earlier, because it’s been edited.

    The last paragraph originally read something like “It’s probably worth pointing out that the sources who witnessed King getting locked up were also being arrested themselves for a street brawl, so they’re not particularly credible. But their account should be taken as truth because it’s hilarious.”

    Doesn’t look quite so even handed then does it?

    Anyway, forget team allegiance, I think it’s a sorry state of affairs to revel in someone else’s pain like this. I’ve no idea why King feels the need to get so wasted and try to big himself up – but it’s certainly not because all is well.

  • CB // May 12, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Please, Spoiler, go on making fun of stuff. Yours is the last shining light. Daily Mail’s Hatchet Man is just a whinger and very gloom nowadays and Caughtoffside just sold out.
    Footballers lives are meant to make us laugh people! It’s not like they are real people and all…

  • lee // May 18, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    This guy is serious scandal! Wasnt there something else on here about him a while back aswell. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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