Flashing News

Footballer to receive sex offenders’ treatment after exposing himself in the street

Former Northampton star sentenced for flashing incident

Former Northampton defender Danny May

It’s comforting to know that we live in a world of karmic balance: when a soldier breathes his last breath, a baby is born. When Michael Bay is allowed to make yet another cinematic atrocity, we can look forward to Brüno. And when Cristiano Ronaldo leaves the UK, another over-sexed footballer makes headlines on our fair shores.

Former Northampton Town full back Danny May – currently playing at non league Enfield Town – will undergo a three-year sex offenders’ treatment programme for flashing his todger at a passer-by while on his way to a doctors’ surgery. When he arrived at the surgery, May requested a female nurse to inspect a lump on his genitalia – the prosecution in his court case believed this was a bizarre attempt to cover himself for the what he had done in the street earlier.

The Watford Observer quotes the unnamed victim, who spoke at the witness stand at Wood Green Crown Court:

“I was aware of a gentleman walking towards me at about 11am. I was walking with my head down as it was not very nice weather.

“I looked up and thought I could see something sticking out of the waistband of his jogging bottoms.

“Then I looked up again he was much closer, and what I thought was a little doll or little teddy bear was not what I initially thought.

“I realised what I had seen was his genitalia.”

Yes, you did read that correctly, the victim thought his man junk was a teddy bear. Lord only knows what kind of toys she had as a child.

Rather then encourage the idea that he was showing the witness a cuddly toy, May chose to admit to the indecent exposure, but insisted it was entirely accidental:

“If it was out it must have been out there. I don’t know why my penis would be out, but if she [the witness] said it it must be.

“I did not mean to have it out if I did. I left the house and I think my trousers were up properly.”

 The Spoiler can totally relate to that. Today, for example, we arrived at Spoiler HQ and realise we aren’t wearing any trousers at all. No wonder there were so many free seats on the bus.

Thanks to Andrew for the tip


1 response so far
  • anthony // June 23, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    “… and what I thought was a little doll or little teddy bear was not what I initially thought.

    “I realised what I had seen was his genitalia.”

    Ahaha I’m not sure who is more disturbed. The exhibitionist or the person who clearly cannot distinguish between doll parts and sexual organs?

    toot toot.

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