Performing Arts News

Newcastle to bring their disastrous season to the stage

Magpies to tread the boards in honour of forgettable year

You Really Couldn’t Make It Up

Football fans aren’t known for their love of theatre, but that could be about to change in the north east.

Two Newcastle season ticket holders are intending to depress cultured Magpies fans with You Really Couldn’t Make It Up, the stage interpretation of the Toon Army’s epic failures on and off the field in 2008/09, told through the ”witty, heartfelt banter of four ordinary fans coming to terms with life after relegation”.

NUFC.com reports:

Following a sold-out run there earlier this year, Newcastle’s Live Theatre hosts an updated version of “You Couldn’t Make It Up” starting this week.

Penned by father and son team Michael and Tom Chaplin (both season ticket holders at SJP) [Sarah Jessica Parker? - Ed.], “You Really Couldn’t Make It Up” recounts the story of Newcastle’s season from hell through the eyes of four fans.

Actors play the parts of Alan Shearer, Kevin Keegan and Mike Ashley.

Why are they getting actors to play the parts of Shearer, Keegan and Ashley, when they could probably get the real thing? It’s not as if any of them will be doing anything in the foreseeable future…

[Roll up! Roll up! Get your tickets here]


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