Mersey Slander

Steven Gerrard’s wife says Liverpool is ‘rough’

Alex Curran endears herself to the Merseyside population

Alex Curran

The Spoiler has never spent a night out in Liverpool – as a bona fide member of the Soft Southern Media© we get a nosebleed each time we venture past the Watford Gap – but we’ve heard it is laden with ruffians who engage in fisticuffs after one too many jammy donut-flavoured shots.

Merseyside-born Alex Curran confirmed our fears today, when she explained why she and her pacifist husband Steven Gerrard will be tripping the light fantastic elsewhere in future:

“[Liverpool is] not the same any more.

“To be honest, it’s rough. Everywhere new that opens attracts the wrong type of people.

“It’s not nice, so I haven’t bothered to go out.”

Merseyside police have been quick to retort by claiming the risk of being a victim of personal crime in Liverpool is the lowest of any big city in Britain, although it is unknown whether this statement is a direct result of the fact that Steven Gerrard will no longer be socialising there.

[Ooh Aah Daily Star]


7 responses so far
  • Rog // July 29, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Well it would be rough with guys like Gerrard living there wouldn’t it.
    The dictionary.com meaning of affray is;
    Affray: a public fight; a noisy quarrel; brawl.
    But of course St Stephen throws three or four punches and is found not guilty.
    Not that the jury at the Liverpool court were affected by his celebrity status or anything of course.

  • Karl // July 29, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Rough? Shes is dead right. It is an uneasy place to be after dark, i know first hand. However it is much like any other (UK) city. Perhaps we can begin to fix things by evicting her and her partner first? The hypocrisy of her comments are almost comical in their timing. She really isnt that bright god bless her. Perhaps Liverpool will be a better, safer place when the Gerrards leave? At least there will be less fighting in the city centre, from both of them. And Merseyside police, you are telling lies. Google “crime stats” & “Liverpool” then compare stats to a boozey place like Newquay and you will see they are spouting rubbish.

  • Karl // July 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    @ Rog. That trial was a joke mate. It was a pantomime. Odds are 70% of the jury would be Liverpool fans anyway – whos going to take one of the top players and put him in jail? their lives would proberbly be in danger. I always thought the law was supposed to be fair, now i know its only fair when you are filthy rich. Im a Liverpool fan but first and foremost i am a realist.

  • Tony // July 29, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Could be that Alex Curran has worked her way through all the local bouncers and fancies trying somewhere else to get shagged bandy.

  • yido11 // July 29, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    maybe referring to this

    http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2009/03/14/liverpool-nightclub-cube-sacks-bouncers-100252-23141545/

  • Paul(No1Fan) // July 29, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    If Steven didn’t insist on DJ’ing things wouldn’t be so rough!

  • Luis // July 29, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Yeah, you’re all right fellas….Alex Curran is bootylicious…

    I’d do her at least..

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