Who's The Daddy?

Ronaldo ordered to take a paternity test

Troubled Corinthians striker has something in common with Sol Campbell besides excess weight

(Fat) Ronaldo

(Fat) Ronaldo’s return to Brazil has been blighted by injury, lipsocution surgery and his coronation as ‘King of the Transvestites‘, and the tubby striker’s fortunes appear to have taken yet another unfortunate turn.

Reports from Rio say that the Corinthians star has been ordered by a court to take a DNA paternity test, after a Brazilian living in Singapore claimed he is the father of her four-year-old child.

Michele Umrazu, 27, had been under the impression that her American ex-fiance was the daddy, but the combination of a negative paternity test and her young son’s terrible aesthetic affliction led her to believe otherwise:

“His hair, his eyes, his nose are the same as Ronaldo’s.”

Umrazu’s mother claims the three-time World Player of the Year first ‘met’ (read: ‘boffed’) at the 2002 World Cup in Tokyo, and they ‘met’ again in August 2004, nine months before she gave birth.

[AFP via Dirty Tackle]


1 response so far
  • randomsausage // September 24, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    (Fat) Ronaldo’s car breaks down on the freeway. A cop pulls over:

    Cop: “Hmmmm, engine just stopped? Did you check with the trans?”
    (Fat) Ronaldo: “But my girlfriend knows nothing about cars”.

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