Loveable Dennis Wise reveals misunderstood masterplan
Dennis Wise finally explains why spending £1million on a player who is no good, was actually an excellent idea.
In a hefty dose of nostalgia that left readers longing for the good old days, the weekend newspapers were once more cluttered to the brim with high-level comedy courtesy of Newcastle United. Amongst the more interesting revelations from the fall-out of Kevin Keegan’s tribunal, was that Dennis Wise pressured the Messiah into paying £1million for a player nobody at the club had actually seen play, with the sole intention of keeping some South American agents on board.
Wise should have spent the weekend bathing in shame at his behaviour, yet rather had the gall to show his face on television during yesterday’s Super Sunday Sky offering. True to form, the man who Alex Ferguson once said, “could start a row in an empty house,” has come out fighting, insisting these payments were worthwhile and part of a broader plan. Loveable Dennis explained:
“The long-term idea was we would have a relationship where we would have first option on all the best young South American kids, and that was important to the club.”
All well and good. Except we here at spoiler HQ have been racking our collective brains all morning to try and think of any South American youngster (for the sake of argument, under the age of 21) who has ever even remotely achieved anything in the Premier League. The best we could do was Mauro Zarate’s brief but ultimately doomed four months at Birmingham City two seasons ago.
Are we wrong? Or is Dennis Wise defending the indefensible? Tell us below…