Gianfranco Zola takes drastic steps to stop Nigel Quashie relegating West Ham

Relegation-baiting midfielder told to stay away


Like heavy rocks in a bin-liner full of kittens, the dead weight of West Ham midfielder Nigel Quashie’s astounding mediocrity has dragged four of his five previous clubs into the relegation mire in the past 14 years.

With the Hammers currently languishing 19th in the Premier League, boss Gianfranco Zola seems to have finally caught wind of Quashie’s club-damning reputation and is now on a mission to keep the midfielder away from Upton Park at all costs.

According to reports in the News of the World, having already been packed off to Poland, Nigel has now been told to stay away from training completely, being offered the tasty incentive of seeing out his £20,000 p/w contract by sitting at home watching The Wright Stuff:

“The midfielder approached the Hammers last week about a pay-off, after manager Gianfranco Zola ignored his claims for a recall.

Instead Quashie, forced to travel to Poland last week with the reserves, was told he no longer has to report for training.

Despite several first-team stars lobbying Zola to bring the player back in from the cold, the Italian does not want him in the picture.

He has been made to train with the reserves and was even offered a loan move to MK Dons.”

Is it all too late for little Gianfranco? Does Quashie’s Curse already have its hairless, rapey-eyed grip locked in on the Irons?

1 response so far
  • AP // November 9, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    I will never know why people sign this guy. The fact people like Quashie are millionaires is vomit inducing.

    On a side note, where’s Elliot? Is he okay?

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