Le Tissier to teach pens, Beattie’s off, and more…
“Kick the ball into the goal”
In the spirit of true World Cup optimism, Matthew Le Tissier – definitely the most wasted England talent of all time – has offered to coach the final squad on how to correctly take a penalty. Remember, this is a man who only buggered up one in his whole career. In the manner of Mr Miyagi, he said this (as featured in today’s Daily Mail):
“For me, taking a penalty was the easiest chance I was going to get of scoring in the entire game and that was the way that I approached it. I had a very positive attitude.”
Wise words from Le Tiss.
News from Stoke suggests that the Pulis/Beattie fallout was rather more putrid on the eye than was initially suspected. One story goes that Pulis emerged from the shower to find Beattie slagging him off, so launched into an over-the-top headbutt, whilst completely naked.
Honestly, people could see his managerial penis and everything. Allegedly. That’s going to leave a smudge on the brain.
Either way, the pair have reportedly made friends. Kind of. In that they’ve issued apologies, and Beattie will be long gone come January.
And over in fashionable France, the locals have been doing some serious shrugging, after news filtered throught the dense fog of Gauloise smoke that Raymond Domenech pocketed roughly £726,046.46 in bonuses during the national team’s particularly flaccid and outrageous World Cup qualifying campaign.