Freaky Doctors

Aquilani’s off to see that weird placenta doctor

Aquilani – probably not laughing now


As he let his imagination run riot in the build up to the season, Aquilani probably dreamt up a number of zany situations in the throbbing brain that lurks beneath his luxurious Italian haircut - like scoring a winning hat-trick against Man United perhaps? Or firing an overhead kick from his own half into the top corner in the final seconds in a Merseyside Derby.

What he probably didn’t imagine was that he’d end up consistently ignored by his boss, then eventually ordered to attend a doctor’s appointment in Belgrade, to have a stranger smear placentas all over his legs.

Yeah, he’s not having the best time, that Aquilani. He’s still yet to start a league match, and according to today’s Daily Mail, he was put on a plane over the weekend, and would have spent yesterday in Marijana Kovacevic’s notoriously odd surgery. Possibly having to endure hours of terrifying Europop in a creepy waiting room.

Merry Christmas Alberto!

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