Johnson’s bad knee, Roman’s millions, Beckham’s tears…
David Beckham – emotional
Whilst the majority of the planet busily arranges an evening of unbelievable binge drinking, hand holding, singing of old songs, and drunkenly attempting to tongue kiss as many people as possible just because it’s midnight and you’re a bit horny, important sports journalists (from the likes of The Daily Mail, The Sun, The Mirror, and The Telegraph) have been putting such mindless frivolity to one side to concentrate on football. Here’s what we know:
Glen Johnson will not be having a Happy New Year, mainly because his knee is completely buggered, and he could be out of action for a good few months. This is obviously a double-bummer, because there’s a big shiny World Cup on the horizon.
No one wants to manage Bolton. Except, perhaps, Fergie’s little boy.
Abramovich has reenacted the biblical tale of the man who throws money at things to make people think that he’s brilliant, by clearing Chelsea’s debts with spare cash that he’d otherwise spend on golden slippers and customised bath robes.
Scott Parker’s continuing UK tour of beautiful football changing rooms could yet find him visiting either Aston Villa, Spurs or Liverpool for an extended stay.
Roman Pavlyuchenko isn’t really paranoid or anything, but he’s still pretty sure that Harry Redknapp’s refusal to play him is a much-intended mockery of the poor Russian. He’ll be off in a few weeks, no doubt to the sound of Harry squeaking, nudging people, and sniggering in the background.
And David Beckham almost broke down in a fit of hysterical high-pitched weeping when he caught wind of AC Milan’s Champions League draw with Man United.
“When I heard about the tie I almost cried.”
There there, Becksie. There there.