OMG, is Vidic off to Real?
On borrowed time?
If you really want to get under Sir Alex Ferguson’s skin, there are a few surefire methods to consider.
One would be to publish an autobiography declaring that you were illegally approached by United when playing for another team. This is called “The Classic Jaap Stam”.
Another would be to hook up with a pop princess, then spend every waking hour away from the pitch shopping and getting your hair restyled. “The Classic David Becksie”.
Or, if you just want to locate the high point of your managers rage in double-quick time, start believing your own hype.
Think of yourself as bigger than the team, demand more money, pull out of games because you just felt a miniscule twinge in your leg during a warm up, make it all rather obvious that you yearn to join your bezzie mate Cristiano Ronaldo at Real Madrid.
This move is known as “The Nemanja Vidic”.
The rumour coming from today’s Times – where they take hard journalism very seriously – is that Vidic could yet be on borrowed time at Old Trafford, and should Real Madrid swoop in with around £25 million, he might be off.
For all that is great about him, Ferguson can struggle with big football egos. Just look at his most loyal players if you don’t believe it - Paul Scholes can’t talk, Ryan Giggs would give up his seat to a child’s teddy bear on a crowded train, and Gary Neville is like Sir Alex Ferguson’s most adoring hound.
The manager said this, regarding the symptoms of the Vidic injury that forced him to pull out just before kick-off on Sunday:
“I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you at all.”
Hmmm, is something rotten in Denmark? Or, more specifically, Manchester?