Fear not, Liverpool fans, cover for Torres has arrived!
Carragher, meet your new team mate
Whilst Ryan Babel thinks up new ways to infuriate Rafa Benitez – perhaps by setting up some kind of “Who else thinks that Rafa Benitez is a big Spanish meanie?” Facebook group, or going for the classic “dog poo through the letterbox” trick – Kenwyne Jones looks set to become Liverpool’s next star pupil.
The Sunderland striker has been heavily pursued by the gentlemen in suits who call the shots at Birmingham, but now looks likely to join Liverpool on loan for the rest of the season, according to today’s Daily Mail.
He will, of course, provide pretty decent cover for Fernando Torres, who will reportedly be out clasping his leg for around six weeks, having enjoyed a spot of weekend keyhole surgery. But, Liverpool’s attempts to do a swapsie with Babel for the player fell on deaf ears.
All of which will presumably do nothing for poor little Ryan’s confidence, as he wanders the streets around Anfield, luminous green snot caking his top lip, hyperventilating to anyone who will listen that he’s just been told off again, and now he just wants to go home.
It’s hard not to feel sorry for him. Almost.