You’ll never guess what Stan Kroenke’s real name is…

A hidden shame revealed


Since he sprang onto our radar in 2007, after getting involved in a tit-for-tat financial muscle flexing competition with Alisher Usmanov over who can snaffle up the most Arsenal shares, The Spoiler has always known Stan Kroenke as, well, Stan.

It appears, though, that ‘Stan’ has been hiding a terrible secret for the past three years. His name is actually Enos. ENOS. Despite trying to save face by concocting some revisionist back-story about being named after one of the most fantastically-monikered professional sportsmen in history – legendary baseball player Enos Slaughter – it’s clear Kroenke has lived in silent shame, having to share his name with Boss Hogg’s errand boy.

Do you know any more unfortunately named characters in the world of sport? Can anyone better Poo Cannon, Rusty Kuntz and Willy Topp?

Don’t worry Stan Enos – you don’t have to suffer alone.

7 responses so far
  • Bokolis // January 22, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    James van Riemsdyk of the NHL’s Philadelphia Flyers…unfortunate because of the ‘van.’ If Bokolis weren’t already my porn name, I’d use ‘Jimmy Riemsdyk.’

    Small wonder that he goes by ‘James.’

  • Dustin Johnson // January 22, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    Dude, are you kidding? In america I actually think you have a better chance of making it if you have a crazy name. Try these on for size…

    World B. Free – Basketball
    God Shammgod – Basketball
    Dick Trickle – NASCAR
    Digger Phelphs – Basketball
    Coco Crisp – Baseball
    Rusty Kuntz – Baseball (This is real)
    Chubby Cox – Basketball
    De’Cody Fagg – Football (better with the American rather than english translation of “fag”)
    Ron Tugnutt – Hockey
    Dick Butkus- American Football
    Milton Bradley – Baseball
    Quintin Jammer – America Football
    Picabo Street – Skiing

  • Norcs // January 25, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Albert Pujols (Pronounced Poo-holes. Seriously) – Baseball (St Louis Cardinals)

  • Nutter // January 25, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    Milton Bradley? Looks like a perfectly ordinary name to me – am I missing something?

  • Chris A // January 25, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    We’re sorry England for having sexual innuendos as our names (mine is not one)

  • Dustin Johnson // January 26, 2010 at 12:02 am

    Milton Bradley is a big children’s games maker in the United States now owned by Hasbro. They invented the games Candyland, Operation, and Battleship. To be named Milton Bradley is ridiculous from the American perspective. It would be like someone being named Cadbury Schweppes…

  • Cadbury Schweppes // January 26, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    whats wrong with that?

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