Spoiler

So like, yeah, Robinho’s off to Brazil or something

“I’m leeeeaaaving on a jet plane”

Everyone’s been there – your mum brings home a new “daddy”, he looks weird, but then he pulls out a magnificent gift from the boot of his car, and all of a sudden, he’s the best damn daddy in the whole world.

Or, at least, he is until you realise that your new toy isn’t rust-proof, and occasionally it runs out of batteries when you go on mini-breaks with your new family. Yes, sometimes it reminds you of how good it once was – perhaps on a glamourous trip to beautiful Scunthorpe, where the clouds are as grey as Clooney’s plug hole – but really, you just want new toys. It’s old hat, man.

All of which leads rather clumsily onto Robinho, who is apparently off back to sunny Brazil – Santos to be precise – in a bid to win over, then possibly lose, another set of eager young fans in the build up to the World Cup.

As reported in today’s Mirror, the downtrodden footballer said this:

“… I asked the manager Roberto Mancini if I was going to be playing in the city side this season or not.”

“He said he could not be sure and I told him I could not accept that. This is the year of the World Cup finals.”

In return, Santos are rumoured to be throwing a young talent called Neymar into the bargain, with the word on the street being that he might just be “the new Robinho”.

News that mightn’t give City fans quite the head-rush that it intended.

Continuing in his monologue, Robinho went on to explain that his old buddy Diego had attempted to woo him in the direction of Juventus, but he wasn’t having any off it.

“Di, I would do better to go fishing. No, I’m going to Brazil.”

Right, see you then.

• man city
• Robinho
• Santos