Transfer Talk

Transfer news: Early birthday prezzie for Darren Ferguson…

“Thanks Dad!”

Darren Ferguson

Sweet baby Moses, Mondays can hit a man in the underpants, as the heady weekend hours of boozing in some glitzy high street wine bar, then snogging a stranger’s mouth for twenty minutes in a doorway before puking and stumbling home become just a beautiful distant memory. Will things ever be that good again? Will they?

It’s depressing, but one group of heroes immune to these cruel weekly cock-punches are the hardened sports hacks – from the likes of The Daily Mail, The Mirror, Marca, The Telegraph etc… – who know how to just shut up moaning and get back to work. Here’s what we know today about football transfers…

Regardless that his little boy won’t be donning a silly coned hat and tearfully opening presents for at least another two weeks, Sir Alex Ferguson has delighted young Darren with an early birthday prezzie in the form of Danny Welbeck – on loan to Preston until the end of the season. Many happy returns etc…

The straight-faced men who make chit-chat sound terrifying at Dynamo Moscow have been smoking under street lamps, and talking into mobile phones about how they would consider it a personal favour should Liverpool decide to give them Yossi Benayoun in return for £7million in crispy English currency.

West Ham are looking to find someone with a decent set of goal scoring slip-ons, and that man might yet turn out to be either James Beattie, or Man City’s Renaissance Man, Benjani

Man City are going to have a stab at landing Fernando Gago from Real Madrid for somewhere in the region of £15million. Wigan have signed an Argentine footballer - Marco Ruben, from Villarreal.

And over at Tottenham, Henry Redknapp has been getting it in the ear from Roman Pavlyuchenko, whilst simulataneously mulling over the possibility of splashing out around £11million on a Danish defender called Simon Kjaer.


1 response so far
  • R // January 25, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    alright that monday thing about the sports writers was kinda funny the first time you used it but please stop using it every week. please be creative and think up some new jokes.

    just thought a would say it.

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