Spoiler

Manchester City – step away from the window. It’s shut.

Garry Cook – retract the credit card

That’s all folks – the transfer headlines you’ll be reading in tomorrow’s papers will be that hardly anyone went hardly anywhere.

Anyone seeking one last fix of transfer activity should check out goings on in France and Spain, who in typical continental fashion keep their windows open late into the night.

The big window, the one that sees the big ticket items traded, will be sliding open again in the summer, but until then, let’s hear no more of this nonsense about who might be going where and for how much until at least – oooh, tomorrow.

• transfer window