World Cup Songs # 3: Akon, 2010
Akon, “Oh Africa”
The problem with football songs is that musicians are rarely sportsmen. They are musicians. And yet they are forced to sing about sport.
Were the world one big playground, footballers would still be humiliating these singy-songy pansies with daily wedgies, and yet, as it is, when each World Cup comes around the two contrasting groups are forced into collaboration. Often with curious results.
Take this year’s World Cup theme song by the Rhythm and Blues sensation, Akon. Clearly more at home penning lyrics concerning the various methods he might use to guarantee full orgasm during sex, when it comes to the art of hoofing a ball into a goal, he seems rather discombobulated.
Sample lyrics include:
“I know we have to take it to the goal.”
“We’ll do what it takes to get to the top of the highest mountain.”
“This is our time to be inside the sky.”
Hmm, has Akon perhaps confused football with mountaineering?
And, more importantly, what does Arshavin make of the rather crude artist’s impression at the end?
(Courtesy of A Football Report)