Massage Update

Avram Grant could be in a spot of brothel bother

Avram Grant – keeping schtum

Avram Grant

You’ve got to feel sorry for the middle-aged men who just want a nice neck massage in a backstreet parlour, only to find that the masseuse has come to work in a set of dinky little underpants that day.

Not only that, but midway through the muscle manipulation, they might put two-and-two together, and realise that the groans of pleasure echoing around the premises rather resemble the sounds of illicit love making, not those of a stressed out businessman having a knot in his back untangled.

Then there’s the smooth sex music of Sade or George Michael, and guess what? Sir, you’ve inadvertently visited one of the country’s many street brothels. Chances are that the work being done to your neck is that of an amateur, and just considered to be “foreplay”. What a palaver.

All of which leads rather messily to the Portsmouth boss, Avram Grant, who (according to today’s Telegraph) may yet be questioned by the cops, having been spotted leaving a Thai massage parlour not far from his team’s training ground in December last year. The parlour in question now being the subject of a police investigation.

Reports suggest that Grant was confronted by a hard-working newspaper hack as he emerged from the parlour – having spent a couple of hours listening to music, and doing whatever it is that grown men do in these places – and asked whether he knew that he’d just been in a brothel. His answer:


Of course, these days it’s considered to be totally fine for a busy gentleman to entertain a prostitute in the comfort of his own home, or somewhere equally private (his car?), but brothels are illegal, and shan’t be tolerated. One of the cops on the case of this curious sex shop said this:

“We want to speak to people who have been there, to clients who might be potential witnesses.”

Avram Grant has so far declined to answer any questions about the visit.

2 responses so far
  • Erik // February 4, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Let’s just hope that he didn’t pay with a Pompey rubber cheque book

  • Tyrone Shoelaces // February 5, 2010 at 5:58 am

    >doing whatever it is that grown men do in these >places

    Some people might thnk this answer hints that you are gay but I think you are just too much of a geek and have to cut your internet time to 16hrs a day and find out about women, bathing and the sun.

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