News in brief

Rival fans unite, Lampard’s genius confirmed… kind of

Is an unlikely friendship in the offing?

Liverpool fans

Whilst showbiz desks are going berserk over pictures of Rachel Stevens’ new-look womanly thighs, which she chose to unveil at last night’s Baftas, sports desks are equally agog today with news of a rather unlikely alliance.

It’s common knowledge that only a big war can unite local rivals – a fact delicately played out with touching sentimentality by Lando Calrissian and Han Solo in the Empire Strikes Back – but no one ever saw this one coming.

The word from today’s Daily Mail is that Man United and Liverpool fans are plotting to combine forces in protest to oust their respective Americans, all of whom appear to be appalling with money.

How exactly this rebellion will take shape, no one is entirely sure, but there has been talk of synchronised chants and sarcastic banners when the two sides meet at the end of March.

According to “a source”:

“There have been talks and certain groups from both sides are up for it.”

“It just shows what state football in this country is in when two of its biggest rivals are talking about joining together.”

“It’s a massively sensitive issue and whether it will happen at this match, I don’t know.”

In other news, Henry Redknapp has spoken out in favour of his moody Russian, Pavlyuchenko:

“They love him. He has got ability and when he wants to play and wants to work he’s great.”

And, Frank Lampard looks set to emulate Graeme Le Saux by reading newspapers with big words in them, after an IQ test declared him a “genius”.

According to the player (as reported in today’s Sun), he scored “150 or something.”

That’s right – “or something”. Could that “something” perhaps be less than 150, Frank?

5 responses so far
  • Garreth // February 22, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Spirit of Shankly (the Liverpool Supporters’ Union) released a statement a few hours ago denying any talks had taken place with any Manchester United fans’ groups.

    If anything, it’ll come through the Football Supporters’ Federation on a national scale rather than the two clubs working together.

  • John Swaine // February 22, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    Lampard has an A-Level – amongst footballers this makes him unto a god.

  • Lorelei // February 22, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    He tested around 155 or more which is genius territory, but this story has been around for ages. Don’t you have anything new to write about?

  • rojan // February 22, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    lampard is the most genius one i love u frank

  • Frank Lampard // February 23, 2010 at 9:48 am

    yeah, i done like ded gud in this test fing i did or that like a bit ago or sumfin, so stop dissin me init…

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