Hey Rafa, why are you so damn fat? Asks journalist
“Stomach’s pretty flat… where can I get me one of those?”
For everything that is crippling and debilitating about stress, it can do wonders for your appetite, and nothing sweeps away the cobwebs of a bad day quite like thrusting your face into a big chocolate cake, and shout-eating (the practice of eating whilst shouting) until the inner pain disappears.
Seriously, try it out. You’ll never look back.
One man who may yet prove to be practiced in the art of shout-eating is Rafa Benitez, who – according to the Romanian press – has become rather bulbous over the years.
Of course, no one in England has really noticed, mainly because gradual weight gain is often hard to spot. You need time apart to really notice that someone’s head has doubled in size, and that their stomach has become pregnant, but with food, not children.
Anyway, one such Romanian journalist – speaking at a press conference on the eve of tonight’s match against Unirea Urziceni – experienced just that very shock on seeing Benitez for the first time since the 2005 Champions League final.
As reported in today’s Daily Mail, the conversation went like this:
“Mr Benitez, the last time I saw you was at the 2005 Champions’ League final, and your, erm, silhouette seems to have changed since then. Why is that?”
To which Rafa responded:
“It is the stress of having to answer so many questions from the press. Thank you and goodnight.”
Yep, he’s shout-eating alright.