Spoiler

The Real Madrid fans have spoken – they want Fabregas!

Silva and Fab – wonderful dancers

In wealthy family terms, Real Madrid fans are probably the equivalent of a snotty eight-year-old girl who uses tantrums to ensure that she gets another pony to replace the one from last year, and that the Jonas Brothers must make a surprise appearance at her birthday party. If they don’t, she’s going to take an overdose, she screams, until Daddy finally relents.

Back in the Real world (ahem), the popular Spanish daily, Marca, has confirmed that the fans have completed a survey demanding who they would like to see as the summer’s “galacticos”, and, well, they want TWO.

With 63.8 per cent of the vote is David Silva, whilst just behind him with 55.4 per cent is Cesc Fabregas. Statistics that strongly suggest that most fans weren’t opting for just the one great addition, but were instead going for the figurative Pony (Silva), and the Jonas Brother (Fabregas).

Big money will surely be thrown around to keep their fans from collectively lying on the floor and screaming, so will Arsenal finally be tempted to rid of their most valued player? A hunch suggests that much depends on how the trophy cabinet looks come the World Cup.

On the plus side, Man United fans can breathe a sigh of relief. Only 37.5 per cent of the brats have snorted a request for Rooney. That’s less than half, maths fans.

• Arsenal
• Cesc Fabregas
• David Silva
• Real Madrid