Transfer Talk

SWP puts car up for sale “due to moving abroad”

SWP – he’s off, then

Shaun wright-Phillips

If you happen to be an employer, and you’re suspicious that a member of your staff is planning a jailbreak, you look for clues. Are they attending more doctor’s appointments during the middle of the day than you’d expect from a healthy person? Have they lost that cheerful luster that persuaded you to give them a shot in the first place?

It’s all about weeding out the faint signals, and formulating a picture, a bit like a detective does. Although, sometimes, you might just find yourself dealing with an employee with all of the grace and subtlety of Martin Johnson at ballet school.

Namely, Shaun Wright-Phillips.

In light of his problematic ongoing contract negotiations, in which the dinky little winger was seeking to extract even more money from his robed bosses, it has come to The Spoiler’s attention that Wright-Phillips has finally had enough, and looks set to go abroad in the summer.

How does The Spoiler know this information?

Good question. Call it a hunch, based mainly on this cack-handed “car for sale” advert, which reads something like this:

2008 BMW 3 SERIES 325i M Sport 2dr Step Auto Convertible

Private Seller

19,900 miles, 2 Door Convertible, Sparkling Graphite Grey, Petrol, 19k, Automatic, Full BMW Service History, Black leather trim, electric memory sport seats, heated seats, Sat Navigation professional system with television function, Bluetooth phone prep + telematics, Voice control, BMW assist online portal, XENON headlamps, M sport multifunction steering wheel with gears, M-sport suspension, exterior trim high gloss, parking assistance rear, armrest with sliding folding adjustment, cruise control, CD player, Automatic air conditioning. Slight tint on all windows. Matching Sparkling graphite wheels, 19 inch Alloys. To any football fans, 1 previous owner of this car who was Premiership player Shaun Wright Phillips. Immaculate Condition, Extremely well looked after, Ultimate Summer Car at very competitive price. Sale due to moving abroad. £27,495.

Boom!

Very subtle, Shaun.


6 responses so far
  • Mark // March 30, 2010 at 11:52 am

    The 1 previous owner was SWP, not the current owner.

    The current owner is therefore not SWP

  • thegoat // March 30, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    this is a fail of exceptionally high standard

  • tommy knocker // March 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    only clues I found here were here are all pointing to a massive fail for mister Burt

  • JoshBurt // March 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    we shall see, chaps… we shall see

  • AJ // March 31, 2010 at 12:29 am

    JoshBurt let go from The Spoiler “due to inability to read English”

  • Ian Wright // March 31, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Leave off SWP, he’s blatantly worth £250k a week, he should be on equal wages with Messi!

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