Tears

Oh great, that meanie Diego Forlan made Lily Allen cry

Allen – with ker-razy pink hair!

Lily Allen

If you need a little memory jog, Lily Allen is Kieth Allen’s little girl – the one who sings profound songs about normal things, like drinking a mug of PG Tips, or laughing at the size of her boyfriend’s penis. Basically she’s harmless. You wouldn’t want to make her cry.

Hence, the sad news today is that Diego Forlan did exactly that. He scored a goal, and the tears flowed from Allen’s eyes like champagne at a 1980s prawn cocktail followed by sex party.

As reported in today’s Daily Mail:

Fulham fan Allen, who was with her grandad, burst into tears when Diego Forlan netted late on.

What a bastard.


8 responses so far
  • Phil // May 13, 2010 at 9:31 am

    On another Forlan note, when talking of Altetico and THEIR goalscorer, why do the media persistently refer to him as ‘ex-Man-Utd striker Forlan’? FFS sake, he left Utd, 6, yes 6 years ago. Why can he not just be referred to correctly as ‘Madrid striker Forlan’? God, it annoys me.

    Anyway, was willing Fulham all the way last night, corageous, brave performance, well done to them and all their travelling fans… Better luck next time!

  • Wayne Bridge // May 13, 2010 at 11:19 am

    I’m lonely. I will consol her

  • Fuzzy Pin // May 13, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    Forlan played for United?? I always thought it was just Sally Gunnell heading in a new career direction….

  • John Terry // May 13, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Sorry Wayne, got to her first. She just prefers Terrys

  • Ashley Cole // May 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    I’ve already sent her pics of me pantless

  • Vágner Love // May 13, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    I fuck her

  • Vernon Kay // May 13, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    Ashley, I’ve sent my pics as well. iv got unlimited text

  • Tiger Woods // May 14, 2010 at 8:54 am

    I already treated her rough, threw her around, spanked and slapped her with my 9 iron

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