Transfer Talk

Milner to Man City, Ashley Cole and Mourinho to Real

To be reunited?

Cole and Mourinho

Fans of the showbusiness sections will be reeling today over pictures of Nicklas Bendtner and his elderly girlfriend, Baroness Caroline something-or-other – according to reports, he’s 22, and she’s 35. 35! OMFG! WTF! That’s a thirteen year age gap! Cringe!

Of course, these days 35 is pretty much the new 24 in woman years, so, yeah, they’re about right.

Anyway, once you’ve dragged your jaw from your knees, here’s what else we know, thanks to the likes of The Daily Mail, The Mirror, The Star etc…:

It’s all go over in sunny Spain. The big news in yesterday’s News of the World was that Chelsea are seriously attempting to lure Kaka into their ranks, and today, further fuel has been spat on the fire with rumours that Ashley Cole could possibly feature somewhere in the deal, going in the opposite direction.

He’s had a torrid year – what with everyone getting on his case, just because he had it off with a slew of slutty women who definitely weren’t his wife, Cheryl Cole – so the lure of steamrollering his way around a few Spanish VIP sections as part of Cristiano Ronaldo’s sexy entourage might be too delicious to turn down.

Also nearing the eye of a Real Madrid storm is Jose Mourinho, who said this:

“I want to give everything I can for this historic week, and then I will take some time to breathe and think what will make me the happiest.”

“But at the moment I can say 100% I have not got a foot and a half in Real Madrid, in fact, I am far from being the coach of Real Madrid.”

That’s in the bag, then.

Back over in Manchester – where the skyline is blanketed by beautiful grey clouds – City are rumoured to be on a serious recruitment drive. As reported over the weekend, they’re keen to swap Ireland and Adebayor for Gerrard and Torres in what would surely be the worst Top Trumps switcheroo of all time. Presumably there is cash involved too.

And now they’re gunning for James Milner. Apparently they’ve got around £24million in pressed notes as an Aston Villa tempter. Or perhaps they could just offer Michael Johnson and four quid in change?

2 responses so far
  • Didier Drogba // May 17, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    It’s going to be a f***king disgrace if he doesn’t take me too!

  • Kaka // May 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    I’m not going anywhere and as for Ashley cole he canfuck right off

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