Spoiler

World Cup Profile: Germany

Imagine this, but without Ballack

And so to the wonderful Germans – famed for getting all of the best sun loungers, and making England fans cry in 1990. But who ARE these strange and intriguing people? Read on to find out…

Form Guide

The Germans could be the ones to watch, having breezed through the group stages undefeated. They also have a particularly strong World Cup record, having won the thing three times (1954, 1974, 1990), and made it all the way to the final on a further four occasions (1966, 1982, 1986, 2002). Some might remember 1990 as the year that they unkindly tore beating hearts from their chests, and trampled on them in a cruel penalty shoot out. They have odds to win of around 15/1 on Betfair.

World Cup Moment

They’ve had a few, but no one would argue against “The Miracle of Bern”, which saw West Germany (as it was then) come back from two goals down to beat a mighty Hungary side in the 1954 final.

Main Man

With Michael Ballack out of the competition, the side will look ever more to Miroslav Klose, who has managed – rather impressively – to put away 48 goals in 94 international matches. He won the Golden Shoe in 2006, and if you think that he can put in a repeat performance, you’ll find him with odds of around 35/1 on Betfair.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Like most German sides, this one is very physical, and astonishingly organised – hence, they take some beating. That said, with Ballack gone, and not much in the way of experience between the sticks, they could easily come unstuck against some of the bigger teams.

Current Number One in Germany

Mehrzad Marashi, Don’t Believe

To show your support…

Simple. Pop on a Morris Dancer’s outfit, order a massive beer – roughly the size of two pints – then get all Oktoberfest about it by demanding more drinks from any buxom women who happen to be in the area.

Most blatant use of sex to sell football…

Take the traditional game of football, then add girls in body paint. Phwoar!

If Joachim Loew were a 1980s balladeer, he would be…

With that impressive mop of dark dark hair, the Germany manager is the spitting image of everyone’s least favourite 1980s pop icon, Chris De Burgh. Here he is singing his appalling masterpiece…

The Spoiler predicts: Without Michael Ballack to steady the ship, they could come unstuck. Quarters at best, last 16 at worst.

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