Chelsea pair released, Rafa Benitez confirmed as Inter boss and Yaya Toure to Arsenal?

Chelsea lunchladies: Don’t throw out that leftover schnitzel just yet


It being a World Cup year, newly unemployed ex-Chelsea stars Joe Cole and Michael Ballack, released from their contracts yesterday, have been saved from spending their mornings with Jeremy Kyle and Philip Schofield by the welcome distraction of international football.

Rafa Benitez won’t have to face slumming it all day in his dressing gown either, having been out of work for exactly 4 days before being confirmed as Jose Mourinho’s replacement at Inter Milan yesterday evening.

Philippe Senderos continues to find gainful employment as a top-level footballer after being snapped up on a 3-year contract by [on this occasion, not-so] Wise Roy Hodgson. Fulham fans should be bracing themselves for a double whammy of disappointment, as the defender’s arrival could mean towering Norwegian Brede Hangeland is finally off to Arsenal.

That’s your lot for actual facts, now for the real fun – baseless speculation!

Yaya Toure > Arsenal

The Barcelona midfielder could be used as a makeweight in Cesc Fabregas’ transfer away from the Emirates.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: As makeweights go, Toure would be a mighty impressive one. With a semi-replacement for Fabregas already available in the form of Aaron Ramsey, Toure could comfortably plug the Vieira-shaped hole Arsenal have struggled to fill.

Bastian Schweinsteiger > Chelsea

The now vacant “token German midfield enforcer” spot in Chelsea’s squad is set to be handed to the £25m-rated Bayern Munich star.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Blues’ midfield is now distinctly understaffed and with Schweinsteiger comfortable playing anywhere across the middle of the park, he’s not a bad option. £25m might be a bit steep, though.

Vincenzo Iaquinta > Spurs

The Juventus striker’s agent has revealed his client ‘could be making a new life for himself’ at White Hart Lane.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: With Robbie Keane and Roman Pavlyuchenko likely to be heading out of the door, Spurs need goals. However, at 30, and not exactly prolific, fans have the right to feel disappointed with Iaquinta if Huntelaar is genuinely available.

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