WORLD CUP WACKINESS UPDATE

Chris Kamara changes name to ‘Chris Cabanga’ in the hope of England World Cup glory

Just another day at the office for football’s most mental pundit

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Sky Sports pundit Chris Kamara is English football’s equivalent of that lovable, slightly slow kid at school who could be convinced to do anything, like eating old gum off the bottom of a lunch hall table, in the name of having a laugh – and The Spoiler loves him for it.

With the big tournament only a few days away and levels of World Cup Wackiness running dangerously low, Kamara has taken it upon himself to liven things up by going for that old favourite: the deed poll name change.

Kammy is now to be officially referred to as “Chris Cabanga” – ‘Cabanga’ being Zulu for ‘imagine’.

The former Bradford City gaffer was spurred on to making the change after “scientific research” revealed last month the sound of the South African word ‘cabanga’ (and not the incessant ‘brr brr’ of a vuvuzela) increases player morale and makes teams perform better when chanted by fans.

Within a week of the discovery, 22,000 people had signed up to a Facebook group demanding Cabanga change his name for the good of the country, with Chris agreeing to make it official on Monday.

So we can forget David Beckham’s talismanic presence, or Fabio Capello’s cultured tactical ingenuity. If England lift the World Cup this summer, it’ll be down to one man. Mr Cabanga, a nation salutes you.


2 responses so far
  • Montesquieu // December 10, 2010 at 12:56 am

    For a guy who was just awful on the pitch, he’s even worse off it.

  • nemo // December 10, 2010 at 2:04 am

    monte: Cabonga is the best thing on TV. This man needs a show of his own.
    Mediocrity is cherished in england and he should be a legend just like your mediocre food, mediocre music and mediocre footballers.
    Cammy is the king of mediocrity but in a lovable, retarded way.

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