Baby Ronaldo – who’s the mummy?
The big question…
When Cristiano Ronaldo “tweeted” the planet to announce the birth of his secret lovechild and to ask for some privacy on the matter, unfortunately The Spoiler only read the first bit.
Hence, like most work places this morning, The Spoiler office has been a din of excited voices, a hub of wild speculation as to who could mother such a wonderful little bundle of joy.
Unfortunately, such is the Real Madrid man’s well-documented thirst for mind blowing intercourse, that there’s certainly no shortage of candidates.
One thing that can be immediately deciphered from Ronny’s past conquests – man-voiced Hollyoaks star Gemma Atkinson, leggy tennis Russian Maria Sharapova, buxom Big Brother Welsh woman Imogen Thomas, US Princesses Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, underpants model Irinia Shayk - is that he doesn’t really have a type.
He’ll take blondes, brunettes, legs, breasts, gargantuan behinds. Probably even redheads. Although there have been some important reveals:
a) She is an American – although it can’t be Hilton or Kardashian, because they haven’t appeared on the party circuit with what looks like an old man’s beer gut fighting for exposure in the last nine months.
b) She shares the universal thirst for sweating passionately betwixt Ronaldo’s beautiful satin bedsheets.
c) She’s a fertile woman, and would have accessed the Ronaldo seed sometime in September 2009.
d) Face it, she really could be anyone.