A child is born

OMFG! Cristiano Ronaldo becomes a single mum!

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The great thing about social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter is that if you’ve got important news to tell the planet – like you’re in a relationship but it’s complicated, or that you can’t wait for Glastonbury - just a few taps of a keyboard, and bosh! It’s out there. People need no longer waste their nights wondering whether you’re looking forward to your rock concert or not.

Anyway, rather belated congratulations to Cristiano Ronaldo, who last night announced the birth of his first son on Facebook (pictured).

The infant comes courtesy of an unknown American lady, who was presumably rummaging around the business end of the Ronaldo underpants last summer as he celebrated joining Real Madrid.

Lady X – as we have chosen to call her - gave birth in June.

As reported in today’s most important newspapers, the child will most probably be raised in Portugal, with Ronaldo gaining sole custody.

But, don’t freak out girls – the baby will not be strapped to his chest during his midweek cocktail parties, gazing at you with judgemental eyes. No. The whisper is that Ronny’s mum, Dolores, will be on hand to keep the thing from bothering anyone.

4 responses so far
  • Ben Dover // July 5, 2010 at 9:20 am

    So now the world is officially fucked.

  • benhuggy // July 5, 2010 at 9:27 am

    Ha I wonder if the mum is Paris Hilton as wasn’t he having a fling with her after signing for Real Madrid?

  • ^ Seems im not the only person who thought that ^ // July 5, 2010 at 10:44 am


  • Dan // July 5, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    The anit-christ has arrived…

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